tin' in the Sergeant's room for bail.

When the Boss does show up he wears a regular breakfast food smile that
made me leary, for when he looks tickled it don't signify that things
are coming his way. Generally it only means that he's goin' to break out
in a new spot.

"It just occurred to me," says he, "that I had accepted an invitation
from the Van Urbans for the opera."

"What kind of a bluff did you throw?" says I.

"None at all, Shorty," says he. "I just asked if they would have room
for three, and they said they would."

Say, the Boss don't need no nerve tonic, does he? You know about the Van
Urbans, don't you? They weigh in at something like forty millions and
are a good fifth on Mrs. Astor's list.

"Straight goods, now," says I, "you don't reckon to spring this
aggregation on the diamond horse-shoe, do you?"

"We must put in the time somehow," says he.

I thought it might be all a grand josh, until I'd watched some of his
moves. First we drives over to Fift' avenue and stops at one of those
places where it says "Robes" on a brass plate outside. The Boss stays in
there four minutes and comes out with a piece of dry goods that they
must have stood him up a hundred for--kind of an opera cloak, ulster
length, all rustly black silk outside and white inside. The Lady
Brigandess she puts it on with no more fuss than as if she'd been
brought up on such things and had ordered this one a month ahead.

Next we heads for our own quarters, having shifted our Mott street
chariot for the real article, with rubber tires and silver plated
lamps. About that time I got wise to the fact that the Boss and her
Ladyship were ringin' me into their talk, and I was gettin' curious. I
see the Boss shaking his head like he was tryin' to prove an alibi, and
every once in a while pointin' to me. First thing I knows she'd quit his
side of the carriage and was snugglin' up alongside of me, and cooin'
away in some outlandish kind of baby talk that I was glad I didn't
savvy. I made no kick though, until she begins to pat me on the head.

"Call her off, will you?" says I. "I'm no lost kid."

"The young lady is just expressing her thanks," says the Boss, "to the
gallant young hero who so nobly rescued her from the Malabistos. Don't
shy, Shorty; she says that anyone so brave as you are needn't worry
about not being handsome."

He was kiddin' me, see? I knew he'd given her some fairy tale or other,
but I didn't have any come back that