g else, claimin' his weight and reach
made it an even thing. So I takes him on, an' we bills the go for the
next afternoon.

"I may have to bring up Swifty Joe for a bottle-holder," says I, "an'
Swifty ain't just what you'd call parlor broke."

"All the better for that," says Jarvis. "And I'd be much obliged if
you'd find another like him for my corner."

Course, there's only one Swifty. He's got a bent-in nose, an' a lop ear,
an' a jaw like a hippo. He's won more bouts by scarin' his man stiff
than any plug in the business. He'd been a champ long ago, if it wa'n't
for a chunk of yellow in him as big as a grape fruit. No, I couldn't
match up Swifty. I done the next best thing, though; I sent for Gorilla
Quigley, and gets Mike Slattery to hold the watch on us.

Mike gets the hint that this was a swell joint we was goin' to; so he
shows up in South Brooklyn evenin' dress--plug hat, striped shirt, and
sack coat. I makes him chuck the linen for a sweater; but I couldn't
separate him from the shiny top piece. The Gorilla always wears a
swimmin' jersey with a celluloid dicky; so he passes muster.

Anyways, when old Knee Pants, the Blenmont butler, sees us lined up at
the front entrance, we had him pop-eyed. He was goin' to ring up the
police reserves, when Mr. Jarvis comes out and passes us in.

"They're a group of forty-nine per cents.," says I; "but you said you
wanted that kind."

"It's all right," says he. "I've explained to the ladies that a few of
my friends interested in physical culture were coming up to-day, and
that perhaps they'd better stay out; but they'll be there just the
same."

He'd got 'em right, too. Just as we'd fixed the ropes, and got out the
pails and towels, in they floats; mother beamin' away like a head-light,
sister all fixed ready to blow bubbles, and the Lady Evelyn with her
nose stickin' up in the air.

"Professor, will you do the honors?" says Jarvis to me.

And I did 'em. "Ladies," says I, "lemme put you next to some sure-fire
talent. This gent with the ingrowin' Roman nose-piece is me assistant
Swifty Joe Gallagher. He's just as han'some as he looks."

"Aw, cut it out!" says Swifty.

"Back under the sink with the rest of the pipes," says I, out of the
side of my mouth. Then I does another duck. "And this here gooseb'ry
blond in the Alice-blue jersey, is Mr. Gorilla Quigley, that put Gans
out once--all but. The other gent you may have met before, seein' as
he's from one of the fi