made you a Soldier.

_Thr._ I confess so, and I believe very few go into the Army with any
better Design.

_Ha._ It is indeed some Excuse to be mad with the greater Part of
Mankind.

_Thr._ I have heard a Parson say in his Pulpit that War was lawful.

_Ha._ Pulpits indeed are the Oracles of Truth. But War may be lawful for
a Prince, and yet not so for you.

_Thr._ I have heard that every Man must live by his Trade.

_Ha._ A very honourable Trade indeed to burn Houses, rob Churches,
ravish Nuns, plunder the Poor, and murder the Innocent!

_Thr._ Butchers are hired to kill Beasts; and why is our Trade found
Fault with who are hired to kill Men?

_Ha._ But was you never thoughtful what should become of your Soul if
you happen'd to be kill'd in the Battel?

_Thr._ Not very much; I was very well satisfied in my Mind, having once
for all commended myself to St. _Barbara_.

_Ha._ And did she take you under her Protection?

_Thr._ I fancied so, for methought she gave me a little Nod.

_Ha._ What Time was it? In the Morning?

_Thr._ No, no, 'twas after Supper.

_Ha._ And by that Time I suppose the Trees seem'd to walk too?

_Thr._ How this Man guesses every Thing! But St. _Christopher_ was the
Saint I most depended on, whose Picture I had always in my Eye.

_Ha._ What in your Tent?

_Thr._ We had drawn him with Charcoal upon our Sail-cloth.

_Thr._ Then to be sure that _Christopher_ the Collier was a sure Card to
trust to? But without jesting, I don't see how you can expect to be
forgiven all these Villanies, unless you go to _Rome_.

_Thr._ Yes, I can, I know a shorter Way than that.

_Ha._ What Way is that?

_Thr._ I'll go to the _Dominicans_, and there I can do my Business with
the Commissaries for a Trifle.

_Ha._ What, for Sacrilege?

_Thr._ Ay, if I had robb'd Christ himself, and cut off his Head
afterwards, they have Pardons would reach it, and Commissions large
enough to compound for it.

_Ha._ That is well indeed, if God should ratify your Composition.

_Thr._ Nay, I am rather afraid the Devil should not ratify it; God is of
a forgiving Nature.

_Ha._ What Priest will you get you?

_Thr._ One that I know has but little Modesty or Honesty.

_Ha._ Like to like. And when that's over, you'll go strait away to the
Communion, like a good Christian, will you not?

_Thr._ Why should I not? For after I have once discharg'd the Jakes of
my Sins into his Cowl, and unburden'd myself of my Luggag