usillanimous, lazy,
good-for-nothing land-lubber; a sailor has no bowels of compassion
for him. Yet, useless as such a character may be in many respects, a
ship's company is by no means disposed to let him reap any benefit
from his deficiencies. Regarded in the light of a mechanical power,
whenever there is any plain, hard work to be done, he is put to it
like a lever; everyone giving him a pry.

Then, again, he is set about all the vilest work. Is there a heavy job
at tarring to be done, he is pitched neck and shoulders into a
tar-barrel, and set to work at it. Moreover, he is made to fetch and
carry like a dog. Like as not, if the mate sends him after his
quadrant, on the way he is met by the captain, who orders him to pick
some oakum; and while he is hunting up a bit of rope, a sailor comes
along and wants to know what the deuce he's after, and bids him be
off to the forecastle.

"Obey the last order," is a precept inviolable at sea. So the
land-lubber, afraid to refuse to do anything, rushes about
distracted, and does nothing: in the end receiving a shower of kicks
and cuffs from all quarters.

Added to his other hardships, he is seldom permitted to open his mouth
unless spoken to; and then, he might better keep silent. Alas for
him! if he should happen to be anything of a droll; for in an evil
hour should he perpetrate a joke, he would never know the last of it.

The witticisms of others, however, upon himself, must be received in
the greatest good-humour.

Woe be unto him, if at meal-times he so much as look sideways at the
beef-kid before the rest are helped.

Then he is obliged to plead guilty to every piece of mischief which
the real perpetrator refuses to acknowledge; thus taking the place of
that sneaking rascal nobody, ashore. In short, there is no end to his
tribulations.

The land-lubber's spirits often sink, and the first result of his
being moody and miserable is naturally enough an utter neglect of his
toilet.

The sailors perhaps ought to make allowances; but heartless as they
are, they do not. No sooner is his cleanliness questioned than they
rise upon him like a mob of the Middle Ages upon a Jew; drag him into
the lee-scuppers, and strip him to the buff. In vain he bawls for
mercy; in vain calls upon the captain to save him.

Alas! I say again, for the land-lubber at sea. He is the veriest
wretch the watery world over. And such was Bope Tarn; of all
landlubbers, the most lubberly and mo