dollars
per, and raising children, and buying books, and going off to Europe now
and then on that princely sum--and coming through it all happy and
content with life. I go around them nowadays with my hat off and try to
persuade them that if it wasn't for my sprained arm I could quote Latin
almost as well as the stone dog in front of Prexy's house.

And some of them are bully good fellows, too. Nowadays they take me into
their studies at Commencement and give me good cigars, making sure first
that there are no undergraduates around. Why, one of the profs I worried
the most, when I was a cross between a Sophomore and a spotted hyena, is
as glad to see me nowadays as though I owed him money. He runs a little
automobile, and I hope I may get laid out in the subway if I haven't
heard him cuss in real United States when the clutch slipped. And he was
the chap who used to pick out the passages in Livy that had inflammatory
rheumatism and make me recite on them, and who always told me that a
student who smoked cigarettes would be making a wise business move if he
brought his hat to recitation and left the less important part of his
head at home.

But, as I was saying, the Faculty at Siwash, like all other Faculties,
didn't know its place. It wasn't satisfied with teaching us Greek and
Latin and Evidences of Christianity and tall-brow twaddle of all sorts.
It had to butt into our athletics and regulate them. Did you ever see a
farmer regulate a weed patch with a hoe? You know how unhealthy it is
for the weeds. Well, that was the way the Faculty regulated our
athletics. It didn't believe in athletics anyway. They were too
interesting. They might not have been sinful, but they were not literary
and they were uneconomic. Of course all the professors admitted that
good outdoor exercise was healthy for college boys, but most of them
believed that you ought to get it in the college library out of Nature
books. And so the way they went at the real athletics, to keep them pure
and healthful, almost drove us into the violent ward.

Those were the days at Siwash when our football team could start out for
a pleasant stroll through any teams in our section and wonder after it
had passed the goal line, why those undersized fellows had been jogging
their elbows all the way down the field. That was the kind of a team we
built up every fall; and it wasn't half so much trouble to keep other
teams from beating it as it was to keep the Faculty