the field when it was over; and the Siwash man who didn't
have two or three knobs on his head wasn't considered loyal. The girls
all cried. The Faculty went home in cabs, the mayor declared martial law
and the Kiowa gang walked out of town to the crossing and took the train
there to avoid further hard feelings. We were all ashamed of ourselves
and I think the two schools liked each other a little better after that.
Anyway, we regarded the whole affair as only logical.

The Faculty held a meeting that lasted all the next day. Then it
adjourned and did absolutely nothing at all except to pile upon us more
theses, themes and special outrages that semester than any body of
students had ever been inflicted with in a like period. The profs
wouldn't speak to us. They regarded us as beneath notice. But when the
real Kiowa game was scheduled by mutual consent, two weeks afterward,
there wasn't a remark from headquarters. We played Kiowa and spread them
all over the map--and not a Faculty member was in town that day.

I understand Professor Sillcocks is not yet thoroughly persuaded that
his style of football wasn't a success. "But for that unfortunate riot,
which comes from playing with less cultured colleges," he remarked to a
Senior the next spring, "that would have been the most successful
exhibition of mental control and inherent gentility ever seen at
Siwash."

True, very true.

CHAPTER IX

CUPID--THAT OLD COLLEGE CHUM

Well! Well! Well! Here's another magazine investigator who has made a
great discovery. Listen to this, Sam: "Co-education, as found in
American colleges, is amazingly productive of romance, and the great
number of marriages resulting between the men and women in
co-educational schools indicates all too plainly that love-making
occupies an important part of the courses of study."

Those are his very words. Isn't he the Christopher Columbus, though! Who
would have thought it? Who would have dreamt that there were any mutual
admiration societies in co-educational colleges? I am amazed. What won't
these investigators discover next? Why, one of them is just as likely as
not to get wise to the fact that there is a hired-girl problem. You
can't keep anything away from these gimlet-eyed scientists.

Oh, sure! I knew it was just about time for some kind of an off-key
noise from you, you grouchy old leftover. Just because you graduated
from one of those paradises in pants, where they import a carload