had got this new idea of developin' his chest with
Japanese Jimmy Jig-songs, an' takin' a cold plunge in the slop jar every
mornin', that life hadn't been worth livin' for the wall paper in her
room. She ain't got no sympathy with chest developin' an' Japanese
jiggin' an' she says only to think how proud she was to marry the prize
boy at school an' look at what's come of it. She asked me if I hear
about his goin' to town the other day an' buyin' a book on how to make
your hair grow by pullin' it out as fast as it comes in, an' then
gettin' on the train, an' gettin' to readin' on to how to make your
eyebrows grow by pullin' them out, too, an' not noticin' that they'd
unhooked his car an' left it behind, until it got too dark to read any
further--"

"Why, what--" cried Mrs. Lathrop, who was the best of listeners, and
never interjectional except under the highest possible pressure of
curiosity.

"There was n't nothin' for him to do except to put his thumb in at the
place where the eyebrows was, an' get down out of the car, an' then she
told me, would you believe that with her an' John Bunyan in their second
hour of chasin' around like a pair of crazy cockroaches because he was
n't on the city train when he said he'd come, he very calmly went up to
a hotel an' took a room for the night? An' she says that ain't the worst
of it whatever you may think, for he was so interested in the book that
he wanted to keep right on readin', an' as the light was too high an' he
had n't no way to lower it, he just highered himself by puttin' a
rockin'-chair (yes, Mrs. Lathrop, a rockin'-chair!) on the center table,
an' there he sit rockin' an' readin' until he felt to go to bed. She
says, would n't that drive a good wife right out beside her own mind? To
think of a man like Mr. Fisher rockin' away all night on top of a table
an' never even gettin' a scare. Why, she says you know an' I know that
if he'd been the husband of a poor widow or the only father of a
deserving family, of course he'd have rocked off an' goodness knows
what, but bein' as he was _her_ husband with a nice life insurance an'
John Bunyan wild to go to college, he needs must strike the one rocker
in the world as is hung true, an' land safe an' sound in her sorrowin'
arms the next mornin'! Oh my, but she says, the shock she got! They was
so sure that somethin' had happened to him that she an' John had planned
a little picnic trip to the city to leave word with the police