about the spider an' the he and the she.

"Well, so she got home an' went right up to her house, put the duck in
the rat trap, an' went over to ask the minister about her shoes, an'
what do you think, Mrs. Lathrop, what do you think! The minister had
clean forgot himself! He was sittin' there on his piazza advisin' Mrs.
Brown to make her pound-cake by sayin' 'One, two, three, Mother caught a
flea,' the flea bein' the butter, an' Mrs. Macy says it was plain to be
seen as he was n't a bit pleased at her comin' in that way to have his
memory system applied to her backward.

"She says after that she went home to the duck madder 'n ever an' put on
her felt slippers an' made up her mind as she'd make up for her lost day
by rippin' up her old carpets, an' that was the crownin' pyramid in her
Egyptian darkness, for it's the carpet as has ended her."

"Oh--" exclaimed Mrs. Lathrop.

"Oh, she's alive," said Susan, "but she ain't much more 'n alive, an'
it's a wonder that she's that, an' it would be very bad for her if she
was n't, for young Dr. Brown says she can die fifty times before he'll
ever go near her again. He's awful mad an' he's got a bad bump on his
nose too where he fell over her, an' Mrs. Sweet's got to stay in bed
three days too for her arm where she dislocated it jerkin'--although
goodness knows what she tried jerkin' for--for I'd as soon think of
tryin' to jerk a elephant from under a whale as to try to jerk Mrs. Macy
from under a carpet. An' even with it all they could n't get her up an'
had to get the blacksmith's crowbar an' pry, an' Mrs. Sweet says if any
one doubts as pryin' is painful they'd ought to of been there to hear
Mrs. Macy an' see Hiram an' the blacksmith."

"But what--" asked Mrs. Lathrop.

"I'm goin' to tell you if you'll just keep still a little longer an' let
me get through to the end," said her friend. "I got this part all back
an' forth an' upside down from Mrs. Sweet while I was takin' her home by
the other arm. Oh, my, but it's awful about her, for she was preservin'
an' wanted a extra cullender an' lost her right arm in consequence. I
hope her experience 'll be a lesson to you, Mrs. Lathrop, for it's been
such a lesson to me that I may mention right here an' now 't if I ever
hear you hollerin' I shall put for the opposite direction as quick as I
can for I would n't never take no chances at gettin' dislocated like
Mrs. Sweet is--not if I knew it. Young Dr. Brown says she's decapitated