now, with a sudden gasp of pain; it was as though a
dagger had been turned in a wound. It seemed too sacred to read to Dr.
Howe, but it was just to John that it should be heard, even if only
partly understood; and it was also just to her--for Helen had one of
those healthy souls which could be just to itself. With the letter had
come a clear and logical statement of the doctrine of reprobation,
together with the arguments and reasons for holding it; besides this,
there was a list of books which he meant to send her. All these she
handed to her uncle.

"I will not read you all he writes," she said, "but even a little will
show you the hopelessness of thinking I can ever go back to him. He tells
me first of a meeting of his Session, where the elders told him they
wished to have me summoned before them, and of another visit from Mr.
Dean, of whom I spoke to you, insisting that John had been faithless in
his duty to his church and me. 'I could only listen,' he writes, 'in
assenting anguish, when he charged me with having been careless of your
spiritual life; and when he said that the sin of your unbelief had crept
from soul to soul, like an insidious and fatal disease unseen by the eyes
of the church, until spiritual death, striking first one and then
another, roused us to our danger. How can I write that word "us," as
though I arrayed myself with them against you, dearest! Yet it is not
you, but this fatal unbelief! They charged me, these elders, whose place
it is to guard the spiritual life of the church, with having preached
peace to them, when there was no peace, and leaving unspoken the words of
warning that eternal death awaits unrepented sin. They told me Davis had
died in his sin, not having had the fear of hell before his eyes to
convert his soul. And, Helen, I know it is all true! When they insisted
that you, like any other member of the church, should be brought before
the Session, that they might reason with you, and by the blessing of God
convert your soul to a saving knowledge of the truth, or at least bind
you to silence for the sake of others, I would not listen. Here I felt my
right was greater than theirs, for you are like my own soul. I told them
I would not permit it; I knew it would but drive you further from grace.
I cannot think I sinned in this, though I apparently neglect a means of
salvation for you; but I could not subject you to that,--I could not put
your soul into their hands. I distrust myself