us a bottle of Bristol amid
Hexeter!' or, 'Put some Heastern Counties in hice!' HE knows what I
mean: it's the wines I bought upon the hospicious tummination of my
connexshn with those two railroads.

"So strong, indeed, as this abbit become, that being asked to stand
Godfather to the youngest Miss Diddle last weak, I had her christened
(provisionally) Rosamell--from the French line of which I am Director;
and only the other day, finding myself rayther unwell, 'Doctor,' says I
to Sir Jeames Clark, 'I've sent to consult you because my Midlands are
out of horder; and I want you to send them up to a premium.' The Doctor
lafd, and I beleave told the story subsquintly at Buckinum P-ll-s.

"But I will trouble you no father. My sole objict in writing has been
to CLEAR MY CARRATER--to show that I came by my money in a honrable way:
that I'm not ashaymd of the manner in which I gayned it, and ham indeed
grateful for my good fortune.

"To conclude, I have ad my podigree maid out at the Erald Hoffis (I
don't mean the Morning Erald), and have took for my arms a Stagg. You
are corrict in stating that I am of hancient Normin famly. This is more
than Peal can say, to whomb I applied for a barnetcy; but the primmier
being of low igstraction, natrally stickles for his horder. Consurvative
though I be, I MAY CHANGE MY OPINIONS before the next Election, when I
intend to hoffer myself as a Candydick for Parlymint.

"Meanwhile, I have the honor to be, Sir,

"Your most obeajnt Survnt,

"FITZ-JAMES DE LA PLUCHE."

THE DIARY.

One day in the panic week, our friend Jeames called at our office,
evidently in great perturbation of mind and disorder of dress. He had no
flower in his button-hole; his yellow kid gloves were certainly two days
old. He had not above three of the ten chains he usually sports, and his
great coarse knotty-knuckled old hands were deprived of some dozen of
the rubies, emeralds, and other cameos with which, since his elevation
to fortune, the poor fellow has thought fit to adorn himself.

"How's scrip, Mr. Jeames?" said we pleasantly, greeting our esteemed
contributor.

"Scrip be ----," replied he, with an expression we cannot repeat, and
a look of agony it is impossible to describe in print, and walked
about the parlor whistling, humming, rattling his keys and coppers, and
showing other signs of agitation. At last, "MR. PUNCH," says he, after
a moment's hesitation, "I wish to speak to you on a pint of busi