In my interior economy?

I'm told we have no quarrel, none,
With you as Germans. That's absurd.
Myself, I hate all sorts of Hun,
Yet will I say one kindly word:
If, still refusing Freedom's part,
You keep the old Potsdam connection,
With all my sympathetic heart
I wish you joy of that selection.

O.S.

* * * * *

AN ORDER OF THE DAY.

In my opinion the value of the stock letter has distinct limitations.
What I mean to say is that if there is in a Government office a series
of half a dozen standard epistles, one or other of which can be used
as a reply to the majority of the conundrums that daily serve to bulge
the post-bag of the "controller" or "director," the selection of the
appropriate missive should not be left purely to chance.

Last month I wrote to the Methylated Spirit Controller:--

"DEAR SIR,--Referring to the recent Methylated Spirit (Motor Fuel)
Restriction Order, No. 2, 1917, I wish to know whether I am at
liberty to use my car as a means of conveyance to a farm about ten
miles away where the rabbits are eating the young blades of wheat.
A friend has invited me to help him shoot them--the rabbits, I
mean."

Well, that was lucid enough, wasn't it? But the reply was not so
helpful as I could have wished. It opened intelligibly with the words
"Dear Sir," but continued:--

"I am directed by the Methylated Spirit Controller to inform you
that the employment of a hackney motor vehicle, not licensed to
ply for hire, as a conveyance to divine service constitutes
a breach of Regulation 8 ZZ of the Defence of the Realm
Regulations."

Not a word about the rabbits, you see.

I was so fascinated by the unexpected results of my first effort that
I tried again, this time breaking new ground.

"DEAR SIR," I wrote,--"Referring to Methylated Spirit (Motor Fuel)
Restriction Order, No. 2, 1917, am I at liberty to use my car
daily to take my children to their school, which is five miles
from my residence? The only alternative form of conveyance
available is a donkey and cart, the employment of which means
that my offspring would have to start overnight."

I received a quite polite but rather chilly answer:--

"I am directed by the Methylated Spirit Controller to inform you
that the class of necessary household affairs for which methylated
spirit may be employed as a