ME ON; COME AND BE KISSED BY HIM."]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

_Monday, December 3rd._--No further publicity is to be given to Lord
LANSDOWNE'S letter if the Government can help it. But the author is
not to be prosecuted and the rumour that Lansdowne House has been
raided by the police and its noble owner's type writer confiscated
lacks confirmation.

[Illustration: A STORY LACKING CONFIRMATION.]

A long and complicated answer by Mr. CLYNES, describing and defending
the new sugar-cards, was not altogether satisfying. Sir F. BANBURY'S
inquiry, "Does the hon. gentleman think that anybody will get any
sugar after this?" was prompted, no doubt, by anxiety for the future
of his famous cakes; but it expressed the general doubt.

Lord ROBERT CECIL, who has hitherto stoutly denied that the Allies
have given ex-KING CONSTANTINE a retiring allowance, admitted that
the Greek Government might make him some payment, and that the Allies
furnished Greece with money. In other words, Greece has given TINO a
penny to play in the next street, and the Allies have lent her the
penny.

Asked by Mr. GEORGE LAMBERT whether the labour expended on fitting
gas-bags to motor cars could not be more usefully employed, the
MINISTER OF NATIONAL SERVICE replied as follows: "The questions
involved in the use of gas-bags, _including that raised by the hon.
Member_, are being considered." And Mr. LAMBERT is now wondering
whether Sir AUCKLAND GEDDES intended to be personal.

_Tuesday, December 4th._--In answer to a question as to what steps the
Board of Agriculture was taking to replant districts denuded of trees,
Sir RICHARD WINFREY replied that "surplus nursery stock" would be
transplanted by "gangs of women." Evidently surprised by the laughter
which followed, he whispered to his neighbour, "Have I said anything
very funny?"

At the end of a long catechism by Mr. KING regarding the literature
issued by the War Aims Committee, Mr. OUTHWAITE inquired if it could
be sent to Members of the House. Major GUEST was quite ready to
oblige. In his opinion some Members, including Mr. OUTHWAITE himself,
would be much the better for its perusal.

Mr. PRATT is about the last Minister whom I should have suspected of
cynicism, but I have my doubts about him now. By his admission the
British Pharmacopoeia (war edition) contains "Glycerins devoid of
glycerin and syrups free from sugar." "But," he added, "it does not
m