hasn't had a thing published for months--neither have
I--but then I didn't expect to. Yes, the truth is, I'm hard and bitter,
and I have neither faith nor love for unsuccessful men. I always end by
despising them as I despise Casimir. I suppose it's the savage pride of
the female who likes to think the man to whom she has given herself must
be a very great chief indeed. But to stew in this disgusting house
while Casimir scours the land in the hope of finding one editorial open
door--it's humiliating. It's changed my whole nature. I wasn't born for
poverty--I only flower among really jolly people, and people who never
are worried."

The figure of the strange man rose before her--would not be dismissed.
"That was the man for me, after all is said and done--a man without a
care--who'd give me everything I want and with whom I'd always feel that
sense of life and of being in touch with the world. I never wanted to
fight--it was thrust on me. Really, there's a fount of happiness in me,
that is drying up, little by little, in this hateful existence. I'll
be dead if this goes on--and"--she stirred in the bed and flung out her
arms--"I want passion, and love, and adventure--I yearn for them.
Why should I stay here and rot?--I am rotting!" she cried, comforting
herself with the sound of her breaking voice. "But if I tell Casimir all
this when he comes this afternoon, and he says, 'Go'--as he certainly
will--that's another thing I loathe about him--he's under my thumb--what
should I do then--where should I go to?" There was nowhere. "I don't
want to work--or carve out my own path. I want ease and any amount of
nursing in the lap of luxury. There is only one thing I'm fitted for,
and that is to be a great courtesan." But she did not know how to go
about it. She was frightened to go into the streets--she heard of such
awful things happening to those women--men with diseases--or men who
didn't pay--besides, the idea of a strange man every night--no, that
was out of the question. "If I'd the clothes I would go to a really good
hotel and find some wealthy man... like the strange man this morning.
He would be ideal. Oh, if I only had his address--I am sure I would
fascinate him. I'd keep him laughing all day--I'd make him give me
unlimited money..." At the thought she grew warm and soft. She began
to dream of a wonderful house, and of presses full of clothes and
of perfumes. She saw herself stepping into carriages--looking at the
stran