I want your whole body.
I want to carry you away to a cave and love you until I kill you--you
can't understand how a man feels. I kill myself when I see you--I'm sick
of my own strength that turns in upon itself, and dies, and rises new
born like a Phoenix out of the ashes of that horrible death. Love me
just this once, tell me a lie, SAY that you do--you are always lying."

Instead, she pushed him away--frightened.

"Get up," she said; "suppose the servant came in with the tea?"

"Oh, ye gods!" He stumbled to his feet and stood staring down at her.

"You're rotten to the core and so am I. But you're heathenishly
beautiful."

The woman went over to the piano--stood there--striking one note--her
brows drawn together. Then she shrugged her shoulders and smiled.

"I'll make a confession. Every word you have said is true. I can't help
it. I can't help seeking admiration any more than a cat can help going
to people to be stroked. It's my nature. I'm born out of my time.
And yet, you know, I'm not a COMMON woman. I like men to adore me--to
flatter me--even to make love to me--but I would never give myself to
any man. I would never let a man kiss me... even."

"It's immeasurably worse--you've no legitimate excuse. Why, even a
prostitute has a greater sense of generosity!"

"I know," she said, "I know perfectly well--but I can't help the way I'm
built... Are you going?"

He put on his gloves.

"Well," he said, "what's going to happen to us now?"

Again she shrugged her shoulders.

"I haven't the slightest idea. I never have--just let things occur."

... "All alone?" cried Victor. "Has Max been here?"

"He only stayed a moment, and wouldn't even have tea. I sent him home to
change his clothes... He was frightfully boring."

"You poor darling, your hair's coming down. I'll fix it, stand still a
moment... so you were bored?"

"Um--m--frightfully... Oh, you've run a hairpin right into your wife's
head--you naughty boy!"

She flung her arms round his neck and looked up at him, half laughing,
like a beautiful, loving child.

"God! What a woman you are," said the man. "You make me so infernally
proud--dearest, that I... I tell you!"

End of Project Gutenberg's In a German Pension, by Katherine Mansfield

*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IN A GERMAN PENSION ***

***** This file should be named 1472.txt or 1472.zip *****
This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
h