rkin used to speak very strongly when talking on this subject, and I
observed, from the unusual seriousness of his manner, that he felt
deeply too.

"Ralph," he said to me one day, "half the world is mad--I am not sure
that I might not say three-quarters of the world is mad--and I'm quite
certain that all the _ladies_ in the world are mad with the exception of
the brown ladies of the South Seas, and a few rare specimens elsewhere;
they're all mad together in reference to the matter of swimming. Now
that I have learned it nothing is so easy, and any one who is not as
blind as a rheumatic owl must see that nothing is more important; for
every one almost is subject to being pitched now and then into deep
water, and if he can't swim it's all up with him. Why, every time an
angler goes out to _fish_ he runs the chance of slipping and being swept
into a deep hole, where, if he cannot swim, he is certain to be drowned.
And yet five strokes would save his life. _Good_ swimming is by no
means what is wanted; swimming of any kind, however poor, is all that is
desiderated. Every time a lady goes to have a row on a lake she is
liable to be upset by the clumsiness of those who accompany her, and
although it may be close to shore, if she cannot swim, down she goes to
the bottom. And _floating_ won't do. Some ladies delude themselves
with the idea that floating is of great value. In nine cases out of ten
it is of no value at all; for unless water be perfectly smooth and
still, a person cannot float so as to keep the waves from washing over
the face, in which case choking is the certain result. There is no
excuse for not learning to swim. In most large cities there are
swimming-baths; if the sea is not available, a river is, everywhere. I
tell you what it is, Ralph: people who don't learn to swim are--are--I
was going to say asses, but that would be an insult to the much-maligned
long-eared animal; and parents who don't teach their offspring to swim
deserve to be drowned in butter-milk; and I wish I saw--no, I _don't_
quite wish I saw them all drowned in that way, but I do wish that I
could impress upon mankind over the length and breadth of this rotund
world the great, the immense, the intense importance of boys _and girls_
being taught to swim."

"You make use of strong language," said I.

"Quite a powerful orator," added Jack, laughing.

"Bah!" exclaimed Peterkin; "your reception of this grand truth is but a
type of th