sts to tell his tale to, and
women, lovely women, who would sympathize with his unrequited hopes. He
read on:

"I enclose a ticket for a Turkish bath----"

"Great heavens!" he cried, "what can this mean?"

He read the words again, and then read the coupon.

"Insulted! Insulted by a man I have ever befriended. He must apologize.
I'll shake the words from his throat. I'll--I'll not eat another
mouthful till I have his apology! Turkish bath! Why----" and Mr. Pillet
walked violently--gesticulating, with the open note in his hand--up and
down the creaking floor of his apartment. He did not finish his
breakfast, but put on his hat--perhaps forgetting an overcoat--and
hurried down-stairs.

* * * * *

Colonel Killiam took breakfast at the "Furlough Club." He perused Mr.
Grapewine's note with a majestic condescension, and decided to go to the
dinner, where, of course, those present would recognize his superior
rank. Each sentence he read was sandwiched between two sips of
chocolate, and he reached the latter clause only by slow degrees. When
he got that far, the colonel started to his feet and sternly summoned
the waiter.

"Ask Major Fobbs to call at my table as soon as he can."

The waiter obeyed, and Major Fobbs followed him back to the colonel's
table.

"Major," said the colonel, "will you please spell those words?"

"T-u-r-k-i-s-h b-a-t-h, Turkish bath," read the major.

"Thank heaven, I am still rational!" said the colonel. "I feared reason
was dethroned. Thank you, major. Good-day," and Colonel Killiam strode
out of the room, rigid with indignation.

Old Mrs. Gildenfenny received her invitation over a breakfast-table that
stood against her bedside. The note was handed in by an aged servant,
who thereupon leaned over her mistress's shoulder and helped her to read
it. Mrs. Gildenfenny was an energetic old lady; but she loved, most of
all things in the world, her idle hour in bed of a morning with a
smoking meal of hot-cakes and coffee at her elbow. She disliked, most of
all things in the world, to be robbed of this comfort, and she hated the
being who committed such an offence with a vehemence which was her chief
characteristic. The two old women read Mrs. Gildenfenny's note aloud en
duet, with now and then a pleased comment. Mrs. Gildenfenny said she
would wear her green silk, and gave directions, as she read on, about
her shoes, her hair, her linen and twenty articles of her toilet tha