h!--
With dishes too crackjaw to quote,
And sometimes difficult to relish.

An afternoon of drowsy drives--
How these poor foreigners love driving
To places where, when one arrives,
There's nought for which it's worth arriving!--
A "Belvedere"--like Primrose Hill,
A "Gartenhaus," tobacco-scented;
Yet there they smoke, and moon, and swill,
Quite adipose, and self-contented.

A "Kursaal," very large, and fine;
A Theatre, small, and shabby-splendid;
More beer, more music, ditto wine
(This latter can be much commended).
The Military (each salutes!)
With HANNCHEN on their arm or MARIE;
I wonder where they get those boots--
I mean, of course, the Military.

Lawn-Tennis and an "English Club,"
Frequented now by Lords and Princes,
Where every snobling likes to rub
His elbows with a Peer, who winces;
The tittle-tattle of the cliques,
Some half-proposals for our daughters--
Such is the life that makes for weeks
A fortune--for the German Waters!

* * * * *

CHOOSING HIS WORDS.

(_MADE IN GERMANY._)

According to the _Hochliche Zeitung_, His Imperial Majesty said that
although the sky was apparently cloudless, the atmosphere might be
charged with electricity. He knew what that electricity denoted. There
were thunderbolts in the clouds and thunderbolts on earth. Those
on earth meant war and invasion. He warned those who threatened the
Fatherland, that there were a million of swords ready to spring forth
from a million of scabbards. It was well enough to be neighbourly
when those who lived in your vicinity were benevolently inclined. But
when they showed a disposition to be offensive, then it was necessary
to sharpen your swords and keep your power dry. They had already
conquered France, and were not afraid of Russia. Besides, the Army
contained young soldiers who would be the better for a real campaign.
He himself had no objection to visiting Paris and St. Petersburg, as
a German Emperor should--at the head of a German Army. Still he might
again remark, it was splendid weather, he saw nothing but blue sky.

[Illustration: Nose Everything.]

According to the _Nichtgeboren Zeitung_, His Imperial Majesty said
that, although the sky was apparently cloudless, he recognised dangers
a-head. He was willing to put himself forward as the Leader of the
toilers. It was their duty to secure the best possible constitut