s it her "_Pettitt nom_," or was it her Godfather, Sir
DRURIOLANUS LE GRAND, or was it the joint effort of GRAND _et_
PETTITT, so as to satisfy all comers Great and Small? _The Prodigal
Son_ has already served as the title of an Opera directly founded on
the Scriptural parable of the Prodigal, and has recently been used as
the title of the now famous _ballet d'action_. There was also a _Pere
Prodigue_--which the English schoolboy thought was French for an
uncommonly big Marie Louise specimen; so there is justification and
authority for bringing this new member of _The Prodigal_ family before
the Public. Having once started, there maybe no end to the family
of Prodigals. There will follow--_The Prodigal Aunt_, _The Prodigal
Uncle_, _The Prodigal Second Cousin by first Husband's Marriage_, and
so on, _ad infinitum_.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "THE LITTLE VULGAR BOY."

MASTER LABBY (_to the Butler_). "WON'T GIVE ME A SITUATION, WON'T YER?
THEN I'LL BREAK YER WINDOWS! YA-AH!!"]

* * * * *

THE LAND OF THE (RATHER TOO) FREE.

SCENE--_The Landing-Stage of an English Port._

_Custom-House Officer_ (_through an interpreter_). Do you speak
English?

_Emigrant_ (_ditto_). No.

_Cust.-H. Off._ (_as before_). Have you any money?

_Emi._ (_ditto_). Not a kopeck.

_Cust.-H. Off._ Where do you come from?

_Emi._ Polish Russia.

_Cust.-H. Off._ Have you any family?

_Emi._ A sick wife and eight sick children.

_Cust.-H. Off._ Do any of you know a trade?

_Emi._ None of us.

_Cust.-H. Off._ Are you well enough to work?

_Emi._ No.

_Cust.-H. Off._ Have you any friends in England?

_Emi._ Don't know a soul.

_Cust.-H. Off._ Have you any luggage?

_Emi._ Only the Cholera!

* * * * *

A COMPENDIOUSLY GRAMMATICAL TREE.--A Yew Tree. First it may be a 'Igh
Tree, but it is a Yew Tree. It is either a He Tree or a She Tree.
If small, it represents the first person plural by being a "Wee
Tree:" the second person plural is the Manager and Manageress of the
Haymarket, "Ye Trees;" and the third person plural would be expressed
by a Devonshire Gardener indicating this talented couple as "They
Trees."

* * * * *

TEE, TEE, ONLY TEE!

(_SONG OF THE GOLF ENTHUSIAST. AFTER THOMAS MOORE_.)

AIR--"_Thee, thee, only thee_."

[Illustration]

The dawn of morn, the daylight's sinking,