d the young Clerk who's been out for the day,
At night, at night!
First to the Derby, and then to the play,
At night, at night!
He "spotted a winner" at twenty to one,
His winnings will far more than pay for his fun;
He's happy, free-handed, and "sure as a gun,"
At night, at night!
But oh, what a difference
In the morning!
The bookie bolts, his "gaffer" gives him warning,
He's not worth half-a-dollar,
His prospect's "out of collar,"
And he curses speculation
In the morning!

Behold the young playwright who hears his own piece,
At night, at night!
He thinks that (ironic) applause will ne'er cease,
At night, at night!
His "little one-act thing" is stodgy and slow,
But the Pit is good-natured, the youth's in a glow,
And he thinks--with some "cuts"--it will be "a great go,"
At night, at night!
But oh, what a difference
In the morning!
The critics call the thing "an awful warning,"
They "guy," and sneer, and scoff,
And his bantling's taken off,
"To make room for some old farce, Sir!"
In the morning!

* * * * *

TAKING THE OAT-CAKE.

DEAR MR. PUNCH,--I was very much interested in the statement I saw
in the papers the other day, that the best preservatives of a Lady's
complexion are--Oatmeal and Oranges! I at once began the diet, but
have not succeeded very well at present. Porridge, even with milk and
cream, and plenty of sugar, is such _commonplace_ stuff, and one can't
really be expected to eat oatmeal _raw_, though Scotch gamekeepers are
said to do so. But then they are out in the open air all day, and I am
not. Oranges are nice enough--but oh, _Mr. Punch_, what a lot of them
one has to take before one feels as if one had had a meal! As I have
stopped all other food, I am becoming rather weak. My complexion is,
I think, improved--at all events, it is far less red or pink than it
used to be--but I really haven't the strength to go out of doors to
show it off. Even writing is a burden--so I will close, hoping that my
experiences may benefit others who like to try the regimen.

LYDIA LANGUISH.

P.S.--My Doctor has just stopped the diet!

DEAR SIR,--We are sure that the Oatmeal-and-Orange prescription is an
invaluable one for the complexion. We recently tried it on a Street
Arab, and after one or two doses--accompanied