finished with them. Finished? Then, what lay ahead--what, after this, if
he were discovered? And if he were not discovered? God knew....
His mind took a new train of thought: he was now just such a one as
Donovan. Or as Pennell. As Langton? He wasn't sure; no, he thought not;
Langton kept straight because he had a wife and kids. He had a centre.
Donovan and Pennell had not, apparently. Well, he, Peter Graham, would
have a centre; he would marry Julie. It would be heavenly. They had not
spoken of it, of course, that night of the dinner, but surely Julie
would. There could be no doubt after the week-end.... "I shan't marry or
be given in marriage," she had said. It was like her to speak so, but
of course she didn't mean it. No, he would marry; and then?
He blew out smoke. The Colonies, South Africa; he would get a job
schoolmastering? He hated the idea; it didn't interest him. A farm? He
knew nothing about it--besides, one wanted capital. What would he do?
What did he want to do? _Want_--that was it; how did he want to spend his
life? Well, he wanted Julie; everything else would fit round her,
everything else would be secondary beside her. Of course. And as he got
old it would still be the same, though he could not imagine either of
them old. But still, when they did get old, his work would seem more
important, and what was it to be? Probably it would have to be
schoolmastering. Teaching Latin to little boys--History, Geography,
Mathematics. He smiled ruefully; even factors worried him. They would
hardly want Latin and Greek much in the Colonies, either. Perhaps at
home; but would Julie stop at home? What _would_ Julie do? He must
ask her, sometime before Monday. Not that night--no, not _that_ night....
He ground his cigarette into his cup, and pushed his hands into his
pockets, his feet out before him. That night! He saw the sitting-room
upstairs; they would go there first. Then he would suggest a dinner to
her, in Soho; he knew a place that Pennell had told him of, Bohemian, but
one could take anyone--at least, take Julie. It would be jolly watching
the people, and watching Julie. He saw her, mentally, opposite him, and
her eyes sparkling and alluring. And afterwards, warmed and fed--why,
back to the hotel, to the sitting-room, by the fire. They would have a
little supper, and then....
He pictured the bedroom. He would let Julie go first. He remembered
reading in a novel how some newly married wife said to the fe
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