n't _die_. I don't suppose you'll be wanting the rest of
these apples, will you? All right, don't mention it;" and he passed on
to the next cot.

When the proper doctor came round a few minutes later (Burnett says)
he found his own thermometer quite inadequate and had to borrow the
one that registers the heat of the ward. When he took it out of my
mouth it wasn't far short of boiling-point, and he wrote straight off
to _The Lancet_ about it; also they had to get one of those lightning
calculator chaps down to count my pulse.

Long before I came to, Ellis had been discharged, the ward had filled
up with fresh cases (except Burnett, of course), and the armistice had
been signed.

When I was well enough they handed me a letter which Ellis had left
for me.

"DEAR L----" (it ran),--"Yes, the rabbits have had their food. The
biggest of them swallowed it all most satisfactorily.

"Your loving ELLIS."

* * * * *

[Illustration: "AND I SUPPOSE YOU WILL BE DEMOBILISED AS SOON AS YOU
GET OUT OF HOSPITAL?"

"OH, NO, MUM. YOU SEE, I WAS A SOLDIER IN CIVVY LIFE."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Hostess_. "WHAT! GOING ALREADY, DEARS? IT'S VERY
EARLY."

_Little Girl_. "YES--WE HAVE TO GO ON TO ANOTHER PARTY. WE'RE SORRY,
BUT--YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS AT THIS TIME OF THE YEAR."]

* * * * *

SHAKSPEARE on not the least surprising of Mr. LLOYD GEORGE'S
appointments:--

"How now, Woolsack? what mutter you?"
_I. Henry IV._, ii. 4, 148.

* * * * *

ANOTHER HEATHEN CHINEE.

We were discussing "slim" practices and the prevalence of the basic
desire to get something for nothing.

"If honesty," said one of the company, "is truly the best policy, then
there is a surfeit of the worst politician."

"Yes," said another, "and not only in the West. I assure you, speaking
as the director of an insurance concern in Shanghai, that you have no
monopoly in inventive chicanery. Insurance people must always be on
their guard, but never more so than among the guileless Celestials. I
can give you a case in point. Not long ago we received a visit from
the wife of one of our policy-holders, saying that her husband was
dead and claiming the money.

"'Certainly,' we said, 'the payment will be made, but only after the
usual investigations,' and sent her back to her village. It is not
that we were more suspici