e suit silk
brocade for high days and holidays, two white aprons, three pairs
Chinese shoes, three and a half pairs of Mississy's silk stockings,
several mysterious under garments (from the same source); one
cigarette tin containing sewing materials, buttons of all sorts and
sizes nine empty cotton-reels, three spools from a sewing-machine, one
pair nail-scissors (broken); one cigar-box containing several yards
of tape (varying widths), cuttings of many different materials,
one button-hook, one tin-opener and corkscrew combined, one silver
thimble, one ditto (horn), one Chinese pipe; one packet of tea, one
ditto sugar, one tin condensed milk (unopened), half a loaf of bread
(very stale), two empty medicine bottles--but no opium!

Little Willie was nearly delirious by this time, and tried to get into
the basket, which was now all but empty. The search continued, and two
rolls of material were lifted out: five and a quarter yards of white
calico and three yards of pink silk. This exposed the bottom of the
basket, where lay a tin! Ah, the opium at last. Philip stepped forward
and prised off the lid triumphantly.

The contents consisted solely of Punter's "Freak" biscuits.

Little Willie has been dismissed from his position as Opium
Sleuth-hound.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE FAVOURED UNIFORM.

_Indignant Lady_. "I SUPPOSE _I'D_ HAVE HAD A CHANCE IF I'D HAD
BREECHES ON."]

* * * * *

COMMERCIAL CANDOUR.

"For Sale, owing to ill-health, Pedigree Flemish Stock."--_Daily
Paper_.

* * * * *

THE EXODUS.

Like the last rose of Summer
I'm left quite alone;
All my blooming companions
To Paris are flown--
Three daughters, two brothers,
Two sons and a niece
Have all gone to Paris
To speed up the Peace.

'Tis just the same story
Wherever I go,
There's hardly a soul left
For running the show--
Five thousand officials,
Not counting police,
Have all gone to Paris
To speed up the Peace.

There's calm in the City,
A hush in Whitehall--
A thousand fair typists
Have answered the call.
Henceforward their clicking
In London will cease--
They've all gone to Paris
To speed up the Peace.

P.S.
An expert accountant.
Has worked out the cost
Of the keep of officials
Who've recently crossed.
It must be Three Millions;