on was slight, I felt very tired, and was presently asleep.

"Thus, you see, I had plenty of time allotted me by a gracious and kind
God to reflect on what I was about to do. He did not permit the enemy of
souls to take me by surprise, and to hurry me at once into the commission
of that which was to be my ruin here and hereafter. Whatever I did was
of my own free will, after I had had time to reflect. Thus God is
justified; He had no hand in my destruction, but, on the contrary, He did
all that was compatible with justice to prevent it. I hasten to the
fatal moment. Awaking in the night, I determined that nothing should
prevent my committing the sin. Arising from my bed, I went out upon the
wooden gallery; and having stood for a few moments looking at the stars,
with which the heavens were thickly strewn, I laid myself down, and
supporting my face with my hand, I murmured out words of horror, words
not to be repeated, and in this manner I committed the sin against the
Holy Ghost.

"When the words were uttered I sat up upon the topmost step of the
gallery; for some time I felt stunned in somewhat the same manner as I
once subsequently felt after being stung by an adder. I soon arose,
however, and retired to my bed, where, notwithstanding what I had done, I
was not slow in falling asleep.

"I awoke several times during the night, each time with the dim idea that
something strange and monstrous had occurred, but I presently fell asleep
again; in the morning I awoke with the same vague feeling, but presently
recollection returned, and I remembered that I had committed the sin
against the Holy Ghost. I lay musing for some time on what I had done,
and I felt rather stunned, as before; at last I arose and got out of bed,
dressed myself, and then went down on my knees, and was about to pray
from the force of mechanical habit; before I said a word, however, I
recollected myself, and got up again. What was the use of praying? I
thought; I had committed the sin against the Holy Ghost.

"I went to school, but sat stupefied. I was again chidden, again beaten
by my master. I felt no anger this time, and scarcely heeded the
strokes. I looked, however, at my master's face, and thought to myself,
You are beating me for being idle, as you suppose; poor man, what would
you do if you knew I had committed the sin against the Holy Ghost?

"Days and weeks passed by. I had once been cheerful, and fond of the
society of childre