merited, he came and asked for damages.

The question of malice he left to the Jury, who must see that the Critic
and Author had each been ignorant of the other's existence.

The Jury did not deliberate long. They brought in a verdict for BROWZER,
damages L500, and costs.

The advertisement, the publicity, caused _Wilton's Wooing_ to be eagerly
asked for. BROWZER'S book went into ten editions, and a large issue, at
six shillings. Next year BROWZER'S publishers proved that he owed them
L37 14s. 6d. This was disappointing, and even inexplicable, but
BROWZER'S fortune was made, and now he is much lauded by all the
reviewers.

The Foreman of the Jury is my grocer, and I ventured, in the confidence
of private life, to question the justice of the verdict. "Well," he
said, "you see it comes to _this_: where is this to stop? Mr. BROWZER,
he sells novels; I sell groceries."

"Excellent of their kind!" I interrupted.

"Well, I try to give satisfaction; and so does Mr. BROWZER. If that
young Mr. SMITH writes to the papers that my sugars are not original,
that I plagiarise them from a sand-bunker, or that my teas are not good
Chinese,--like Mr. BROWZER'S French, which is what is usual in the
Trade,--why, then, he interferes with my business. I bring my action,
and hope to win it; and so, as a tradesman, I feel that Mr. BROWZER was
wronged." There was no reply to these arguments, but I pity the
Reviewers.

* * * * *

[Illustration]

TO MAUD.--A BIRTHDAY ROUNDEL.

An empty purse! It's true we often say
This weary world of ours knows nothing worse,
And yet I send you, on this festive day,
An empty purse.

Do not consign to an untimely hearse
The friend who treats you in this heartless way.
Don't let your pretty lips invoke a curse,
But let me wish you happiness, and may
You guess the reason from this little verse
Why at your feet to-day I humbly lay
An empty purse.

* * * * *

[Illustration]

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

The worst thing about Mrs. HENNIKER'S new Novel, published by HURST AND
BLACKETT, is its title. There is a _London-Journal_ish,
penny-plain-twopence-coloured smack about _Foiled_ which is misleading.
My Baronite says he misses the re-iterated interjection which should
accompany the verb. "Ha! Ha! Foiled!!" would seem to be more the
thing--but it isn't. The story is a sim