tell us he was a millionaire.

* * *

A way is said to have been found for washing linen by electricity. In
future patrons will have to tear the button-holes themselves.

* * *

It is all very well asking Germany to hand over her war criminals, but the
trouble is to find enough innocent men to round them up.

* * *

The rumour current in France, to the effect that our PREMIER has been seen
in London, is believed by Parisians to have been spread by political
rivals.

* * *

The Bolshevists recently deported from America were welcomed on the Finnish
frontier by the Red Army and eleven brass bands playing "The
International." That ought to teach them to get deported again.

* * *

A Thames bargee has summoned a colleague for throwing a huge piece of coal
at him. Quite right too. The coal might have fallen into the river.

* * *

One Scottish M.P., says a weekly paper, has not made a speech in the House
of Commons for twenty years. This is probably due to the fact that a
Scotsman rarely butts in when a fellow-countryman is speaking.

* * *

The so-called "pneumonia" blouse is conducive to health, declares the
Medical Research Committee. On the other hand the sunstroke cravat
continues to prove fatal in a great number of cases.

* * *

A Swansea man who went to his allotment to dig up some parsnips and ended
by taking three cabbages from a neighbour's plot has been fined ten pounds.
We approve of the sentence. A man who deliberately associates with parsnips
should be shown no mercy.

* * *

A news message states that passports enabling Mr. RAMSAY MACDONALD to
proceed to Russia have been refused. As a result we understand that the
well-known Socialist has threatened to remain in this country.

* * *

Greenwich Council has refused a war trophy, consisting of a hundred
bayonets. It appears that in those parts they still adhere to the fantastic
theory that the chronometer won the War.

* * *

A novel idea is reported from a small town in Norfolk. It appears that at
the annual fancy-dress ball all the inhabitants clubbed together and went
as a Brontosaurus.

* * *

The Hotel Metropole has now been vacated by the Government, and it is
thought that, as soon as the extra sleeping accommodation has been cleared
away, it will be used as an hotel once again.

* * *

We understand there is no truth in the rumour that Mr. ALBERT DE COURVILLE
has offered the ex-Kaiser a leading part in his revue, _Com