e
Russian who was not shot in Petrograd last week. It appears that he
ducked his head.

***

We await confirmation of the report that an American has offered to
defray the cost of the War if the authorities will name it after him.

***

The Surplus Government Property Disposal Board is making a special
offer of eighteen-pounder guns to golf clubs. For a long shot out of a
bad lie the superiority of the eighteen-pounder over the Sammie cleek
is conceded by all the best golfers.

***

Westgate-on-Sea has decided to abolish bathing-machines. In future
visitors desiring to bathe will have to do it by hand.

***

Mr. KELLAWAY informed the House of Commons the other day that the War
Office has forty million yards of surplus aeroplane linen. It seems
inevitable that some of it will have to be washed in public.

***

A woman aged twenty-six, mother of five children, told the Old Street
police magistrate that she could not read. How she managed to have
five children without being able to read the Defence of the Realm
Regulations is regarded by the authorities as a mystery.

***

At the Royal Drawing Society's exhibition there is a picture painted
by a child of two. Pictures by older artists, with all the appearances
of having been painted by children of this unripe age, are, of course,
no novelty.

***

"Whitehall Wakes Up," says _The Evening News_. An indignant denial of
this charge is hourly expected.

***

A Northumberland man last week declined to draw his unemployment pay
on the ground that he was not actually wanting it. His workmates put
it down to the alleged fact that a careless nurse had let him fall out
of the perambulator on to his head.

***

"Unless Russian women join the Bolshevist movement," says Herr RADEK,
"they will all be shot by order of Lenin." This confirms our worst
fears that these Russian revolutionaries are becoming rather spiteful.

***

A new fire-engine has been provided for Aberavon. As a result of this
addition to their appliances the Aberavon Fire Brigade are now able to
consider a few additional fires.

***

A large rat with peculiar red markings on its back has recently been
seen at Woodvale, Isle of Wight. In consequence much alarm is felt
locally, as it is feared that this is an indication that the rodents
on the isle have embraced Bolshevism.

***

The correspondent who, a