OTHER EPIGRAMS

TO SIR JAMES MACKINTOSH

(1801)

Though thou'rt like Judas, an apostate black,
In the resemblance one thing thou dost lack:
When he had gotten his ill-purchased pelf,
He went away, and wisely hanged himself.
This thou may'st do at last; yet much I doubt,
If thou hast any _bowels_ to gush out!

* * * * *

TWELFTH NIGHT

_Characters That Might Have Been Drawn on the Above Evening_

(1802)

MR. A[DDINGTON]

I put my night-cap on my head,
And went, as usual, to my bed;
And, most surprising to relate,
I woke--a Minister of State!

MESSRS. C[ANNIN]G AND F[RER]E

At Eton School brought up with dull boys,
We shone like _men_ among the _school-boys_;
But since we in the world have been,
We are but _school-boys_ among _men_.

COUNT RUMFORD

I deal in aliments fictitious
And teaze the poor with soups nutritious.
Of bones and flesh I make dilution
And belong to the National Institution.

ON A LATE EMPIRIC OF "BALMY" MEMORY

(1802. Not printed till 1820)

His namesake, born of Jewish breeder,
Knew "from the Hyssop to the Cedar;"
But he, unlike the Jewish leader,
Scarce knew the Hyssop from the Cedar.

* * * * *

EPIGRAMS

(1812)

I

Princeps his rent from tinneries draws,
His best friends are refiners;--
What wonder then his other friends
He leaves for under-_miners._

II

Ye Politicians, tell me, pray,
Why thus with woe and care rent?
This is the worst that you can say,
Some wind has blown the _wig_ away,
And left the _hair apparent._

* * * * *

THE TRIUMPH OF THE WHALE

(1812)

Io! Paean! Io! sing
To the funny people's King.
Not a mightier whale than this
In the vast Atlantic is;
Not a fatter fish than he
Fl