relax,
The marriage of a friend, or a wife's birth-day.

LOVEL
How much, sir, may a man with safety drink? (_Smiling_.)

JOHN
Sir, three half pints a day is reasonable;
I care not if you never exceed that quantity.

LOVEL
I shall observe it;
On holidays two quarts.

JOHN
Or stay; you keep no wench?

LOVEL
Ha!

JOHN
No painted mistress for your private hours?
You keep no whore, sir?

LOVEL
What does he mean?

JOHN
Who for a close embrace, a toy of sin,
And amorous praising of your worship's breath,
In rosy junction of four melting lips,
Can kiss out secrets from you?

LOVEL
How strange this passionate behaviour shews in you!
Sure you think me some weak one.

JOHN
Pray pardon me some fears.
You have now the pledge of a dear father's life.
I am a son--would fain be thought a loving one;
You may allow me some fears: do not despise me,
If, in a posture foreign to my spirit,
And by our well-knit friendship I conjure you,
Touch not Sir Walter's life. (_Kneels_.)
You see these tears. My father's an old man.
Pray let him live.

LOVEL
I must be bold to tell you, these new freedoms
Shew most unhandsome in you.

JOHN (_rising_)
Ha! do you say so?
Sure, you are not grown proud upon my secret!
Ah! now I see it plain. He would be babbling.
No doubt a garrulous and hard-fac'd traitor--
But I'll not give you leave. (_Draws_.)

LOVEL
What does this madman mean?

JOHN
Come, sir; here is no subterfuge.
You must kill me, or I kill you.

LOVEL (_drawing_)
Then self-defence plead my excuse.
Have at you, sir. (_They fight_.)

JOHN
Stay, sir.
I hope you have made your will.
If not, 'tis no great matter.
A broken cavalier has seldom much
He can bequeath: an old worn peruke,
A snuff-box with a picture of Prince Rupert,
A rusty sword he'll swear was used at Naseby,
Though it ne'er came within ten miles of the place;
And, if he's very rich,
A cheap edition of the _Icon Basilike_,
Is mostly all the wealth he dies possest of.
You say few prayers, I fancy;--
So to it again. (_They fight again. Lovel is disarmed_.)

LOVEL
You had best now take my life. I guess you mean it.

JOHN (_musing_)
No:--Men will say I fear'd him,