d Fritz's whacking,
And he shall hammer till the walls are cracking,
And the whole suburb joins us in "The King."

A.P.H.

* * * * *

ONE OF THE CANNIBAL ISLANDS?

"The unfrequented coral harbour was an ideal spot for this
operation. The 60 odd men and women on the Seeadler were
landed, and the natives, avid for change of diet, welcomed
them."--_The Times_.

* * * * *

"A distinctive uniform will be given the new Air Service when
the old is worn out, Major Baird announces."--_Daily Mail_.

An officer in the R.F.C. writes to say that the old Air Service has no
intention of wearing out.

* * * * *

"The coroner said people would be wise to carry electric torches
or newspapers, and ladies should wear something white--a pocket
handkerchief would be better than nothing."--_Sunday Observer_.

Certainly "better than nothing," but a newspaper would make a more
showy costume.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE NEW LANGUAGE. _Tommy_ (_to inquisitive French
children_). "NAH, THEN, ALLEY TOOT SWEET, AN' THE TOOTER THE
SWEETER!"]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

(_BY MR. PUNCH'S STAFF OF LEARNED CLERKS_.)

At this date "The Junior Sub" fortunately needs no introduction to a
public that has long gathered him and his to its appreciative heart. I
should not like to guess how many people read and enjoyed _The First
Hundred Thousand_; they all, and more, will delight in the appearance
of _Carrying On_ (BLACKWOOD), in which the exploits of the famous
regiment, of _Major Wagstaffe_ and _Captain Bobby Little_ and the rest
of them are continued. What the precise war position of IAN HAY may be
by now I am unaware, but I should emphatically suggest his appointment
to the post of Official Cheerer-Up. Perhaps (how shall I put it?) the
eye-pieces of the writer's mask are a trifle too rose-coloured for
strict realism; great-hearted gentlemen as we know our heroes to be,
are they always quite so merry and bright as here? One can but hope
so. In any case, as special propaganda on the part of the O.C.U., the
stories could hardly be bettered. One, called "The Push that Failed,"
I would order to be read aloud to the workers in every munition
factory in the land; its heartening tale of how the British people
had, to the paralysed astonishm