that it will not be
necessary for me to protect myself from levity, as I was forced to do in
Sacramento on the only other occasion when I entered into an explanation
of this delicate affair by--er--er--calling the individual to a personal
account--er. I do not believe," added the colonel, slightly waving
his glass of liquor in the air with a graceful gesture of courteous
deprecation, "knowing what I do of the present company, that such a
course of action is required here. Certainly not, sir, in the home of
Mr. Hawkins--er--the gentleman who represented Mr. Bungstarter, whose
conduct, ged, sir, is worthy of praise, blank me!"

Apparently satisfied with the gravity and respectful attention of his
listeners, Col. Starbottle smiled relentingly and sweetly, closed his
eyes half-dreamily, as if to recall his wandering thoughts, and began,--

"As the spot selected was nearest the tenement of Mr. Hawkins, it was
agreed that the parties should meet there. They did so promptly at
half-past six. The morning being chilly, Mr. Hawkins extended the
hospitalities of his house with a bottle of Bourbon whiskey, of which
all partook but myself. The reason for that exception is, I believe,
well known. It is my invariable custom to take brandy--a wineglassful
in a cup of strong coffee--immediately on rising. It stimulates the
functions, sir, without producing any blank derangement of the nerves."

The barkeeper, to whom, as an expert, the colonel had graciously
imparted this information, nodded approvingly; and the colonel, amid a
breathless silence, went on.

"We were about twenty minutes in reaching the spot. The ground was
measured, the weapons were loaded, when Mr. Bungstarter confided to me
the information that he was unwell, and in great pain. On consultation
with Mr. Hawkins, it appeared that his principal, in a distant part of
the field, was also suffering, and in great pain. The symptoms were
such as a medical man would pronounce 'choleraic.' I say WOULD
have pronounced; for, on examination, the surgeon was also found to
be--er--in pain, and, I regret to say, expressing himself in language
unbecoming the occasion. His impression was, that some powerful drug
had been administered. On referring the question to Mr. Hawkins, he
remembered that the bottle of whiskey partaken by them contained a
medicine which he had been in the habit of taking, but which, having
failed to act upon him, he had concluded to be generally ineffective,