awkins might have remained undisturbed by criticism, but
for a singular incident.
It was during an exciting political campaign, when party-feeling ran
high, that the irascible Capt. McFadden of Sacramento visited Five
Forks. During a heated discussion in the Prairie Rose Saloon, words
passed between the captain and the Hon. Calhoun Bungstarter, ending in
a challenge. The captain bore the infelicitous reputation of being
a notorious duellist and a dead-shot. The captain was unpopular. The
captain was believed to have been sent by the opposition for a deadly
purpose; and the captain was, moreover, a stranger. I am sorry to say
that with Five Forks this latter condition did not carry the quality
of sanctity or reverence that usually obtains among other nomads. There
was, consequently, some little hesitation when the captain turned upon
the crowd, and asked for some one to act as his friend. To everybody's
astonishment, and to the indignation of many, the "Fool" stepped
forward, and offered himself in that capacity. I do not know
whether Capt. McFadden would have chosen him voluntarily; but he was
constrained, in the absence of a better man, to accept his services.
The duel never took place. The preliminaries were all arranged, the
spot indicated; the men were present with their seconds; there was
no interruption from without; there was no explanation or apology
passed--but the duel did not take place. It may be readily imagined
that these facts, which were all known to Five Forks, threw the whole
community into a fever of curiosity. The principals, the surgeon, and
one second left town the next day. Only the "Fool" remained. HE resisted
all questioning, declaring himself held in honor not to divulge: in
short, conducted himself with consistent but exasperating folly. It was
not until six months had passed, that Col. Starbottle, the second of
Calhoun Bungstarter, in a moment of weakness, superinduced by the social
glass, condescended to explain. I should not do justice to the parties,
if I did not give that explanation in the colonel's own words. I may
remark, in passing, that the characteristic dignity of Col. Starbottle
always became intensified by stimulants, and that, by the same process,
all sense of humor was utterly eliminated.
"With the understanding that I am addressing myself confidentially to
men of honor," said the colonel, elevating his chest above the bar-room
counter of the Prairie Rose Saloon, "I trust
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