r, it is always nice to be
expected, and not to arrive. I am not expected at the Bachelors', so I
shall certainly go there. Well, I will make her stand by her husband.
That is the only thing for her to do. That is the only thing for any
woman to do. It is the growth of the moral sense in women that makes
marriage such a hopeless, one-sided institution. Ten o'clock. She
should be here soon. I must tell Phipps I am not in to any one else.
[_Goes towards bell_]

[_Enter_ PHIPPS.]

PHIPPS. Lord Caversham.

LORD GORING. Oh, why will parents always appear at the wrong time? Some
extraordinary mistake in nature, I suppose. [_Enter_ LORD CAVERSHAM.]
Delighted to see you, my dear father. [_Goes to meet him_.]

LORD CAVERSHAM. Take my cloak off.

LORD GORING. Is it worth while, father?

LORD CAVERSHAM. Of course it is worth while, sir. Which is the most
comfortable chair?

LORD GORING. This one, father. It is the chair I use myself, when I
have visitors.

LORD CAVERSHAM. Thank ye. No draught, I hope, in this room?

LORD GORING. No, father.

LORD CAVERSHAM. [_Sitting down_.] Glad to hear it. Can't stand
draughts. No draughts at home.

LORD GORING. Good many breezes, father.

LORD CAVERSHAM. Eh? Eh? Don't understand what you mean. Want to have
a serious conversation with you, sir.

LORD GORING. My dear father! At this hour?

LORD CAVERSHAM. Well, sir, it is only ten o'clock. What is your
objection to the hour? I think the hour is an admirable hour!

LORD GORING. Well, the fact is, father, this is not my day for talking
seriously. I am very sorry, but it is not my day.

LORD CAVERSHAM. What do you mean, sir?

LORD GORING. During the Season, father, I only talk seriously on the
first Tuesday in every month, from four to seven.

LORD CAVERSHAM. Well, make it Tuesday, sir, make it Tuesday.

LORD GORING. But it is after seven, father, and my doctor says I must
not have any serious conversation after seven. It makes me talk in my
sleep.

LORD CAVERSHAM. Talk in your sleep, sir? What does that matter? You
are not married.

LORD GORING. No, father, I am not married.

LORD CAVERSHAM. Hum! That is what I have come to talk to you about,
sir. You have got to get married, and at once. Why, when I was your
age, sir, I had been an inconsolable widower for three months, and was
already paying my addresses to your admirable mother. Damme, sir, it is
your duty to get ma