and the aid of a microscope. The artist considers
his price of seven million dollars not too high."

The Globe and Mail, January 25, 1979.

Now, it came to pass that a seasoned young diner by the name of Simon
decided to revolutionize the restaurant trade. It was his firm desire
to bring some chutzpah into the all too predictable and dreary cuisine
on this part of the continent. From the first, Simon maintained that
food and pleasure were inseparable. Moreover, since food could be a
vehicle for fantasy, even more tellingly it could provide an outlet for
self-expression.

The lily pad pizza was typical of his new approach and was a twofold
operation: a parent might buy an inflatable plastic "pizza," the size
and shape of a small wading pool. It had an edible spout and dehydrated
"sister," pizzas attached to the parent ship that allowed a child to
fantasize while sailing and enjoying his favourite food. If that
sounded too decadent or illusion inspiring, a sleeker model existed
minus the extras--in other words the green wading pool size pizza
unruffled by further wizardry.

Simon always maintained not everyone could handle too much
soft-pedalled reality. Out of the dense formations of endless fast food
chains, Simon's novelties were to titillate the jaded restaurant goer.

Interpretive signs and amenities guided the erstwhile onlooker to the
"ultimate," in fantasy dining. Rhinocerous pizza was served flanked on
an inflatable horn. For the less adventuresome, a lobster pizza with
drawn butter could be had either with tangy dough balanced along its
claws or imprints of lobster cut into the succulent crust. Children
loved the lily pad pizzas and mothers discovered how delightful baby
tears were when presented in tastefully done little cups. Terrariums
soon arrived and were pedalled shamelessly. Some outlets claimed
"billions and billions," were sold.

Simon also cornered the potent swamp water drink market and was having
his empire go "wet." The familiar Chartreuse would now be available at
request and a grown up might indulge primal fantasies along with a
taste to be a gardener, rake and glutton all at once. Special suites
were rumoured to exist patterned after the Poconos in Pennsylvania
where a couple could bathe in a pizza-shaped tub embroidered with baby
tears, fountains, tropical lianas and all the air plants one could
stand pressed against your steamy shower. Pizza machines for a quarter
lined the tubs and one