oasting
of his prowess in side-stepping authority. The father thought not. He
gently told the child that the wine the parents were enjoying could be,
well, "abused." One child immediately thought abused was a reference to
abusing one's body through self-exploration or playing doctor but the
father clarified that matter. A touchy exchange followed over how
something pleasurable caused harm. The mother retreated into a
homily--"all things in moderation," and told the children they would
understand as they grew older. The elder son persisted, however, in
questioning how something bad, if included under the "all," as stated,
could be either moderate or good depending on the circumstances. He
further demanded what reception the schoolyard braggart would have
given such sagacious counsel.

Events were kept on slow boil over the following week. It began to
appear as if the issue was becoming only remotely curious. Rip still
dozed before the fire and wagged a buffoonish tail in servile
recognition. Then one day, on researching a project, the son happened
upon the term rip-tide. Further inquiries followed. The hound, of
course, had not the remotest connection with ocean currents. Yet the
origin of his nickname was as puzzling as ever. Ripcords and ripoffs
deepened the controversy. The rippling effects of wind on sand, too,
had to be dismissed out of hand as a key to Rip's misnomer. Strange,
too, that no one thought to question the nickname Sandy as a touchstone
for unraveling Rip's dilemma.

Perplexity next turned to one Rin Tin Tin. He, too, had a nonsensical
name but his sanity and reputation escaped unscathed, perhaps for no
other reason than the sonorous incantation of his vowels. To be called
Rip, it seemed, was nakedly plebian--a type of proletarian churl of the
canine underworld. Besides, substituting Rip for Rin seemed too openly
imitative and it didn't begin to solve what prompted the naming of the
family pet. It began to look as if all coupling of objects and titles
was, by its nature, inexplicable.

The father then proceeded to bring a certain sophistication to the
broadening quandary. People, he ascertained, grew towards their names.
Positive, intriguing names were an asset. Awkward, embarrassing ones,
moreover, were definite obstacles to progression in life. Did not Jack
the Ripper have infamy forever etched within his name? Maybe none ever
took Doctor Cream (alias the Ripper) seriously. And whose idea was it
to