n, with his
abominable decorations and his genial grin, might not be more fortunate
than many a great statesman or warrior or monarch.

He turned round to find the cad beside him; and presently the man, with
an abounding good-nature, began to converse with him, and explained that
it was 'igh 'oliday with him, for that he had got a pass to travel
first-class as far as Carlisle. He hoped they would have a jolly time of
it together. He explained the object of his journey in the frankest
possible fashion, made a kindly little joke upon the hardship of parting
with one's sweetheart, said that a faint heart never won fair lady, and
that it was no good crying over spilt milk. She would be all right, and
precious glad to see him when he came back in three weeks' time, and he
meant to bring her a present that would be good for sore eyes.

"Perhaps you're a married man, sir, and got past all them games?" said
the cad cheerily.

"Yes, I am married," said Lavender coldly.

"And you're going farther than Carlisle, you say, sir? I'll be sworn the
good lady is up somewhere in that direction, and she won't be
disappointed when she sees you--oh no! Scotch, sir?"

"I am not Scotch," said Lavender curtly.

"And she?"

Should he have to throw the man out of the window? "Yes."

"The Scotch are a strange race--very," said the genial person, producing
a brandy flask. "They drink a trifle, don't they? and yet they keep
their wits about them if you've dealings with them. A very strange race
of people, in my opinion--very. Know the story of the master who
fancied his man was drunk? 'Donald, you're trunk,' says he. 'It's a tam
lee,' says Donald. 'Donald, ye ken ye're trunk,' says the master. 'Ah
ken ah wish to Kott ah was!' says Donald. Good story, ain't it, sir?"

Lavender had heard the remarkable old joke a hundred times, but just at
this moment there was something odd in this vulgar person suddenly
imitating, and imitating very well, the Highland accent. Had he been
away up in the North? or had he merely heard the story related by one
who had been? Lavender dared not ask, however, for fear of prolonging a
conversation in which he had no wish to join. Indeed, to get rid of the
man, he shoved a whole bundle of the morning papers into his hands.

"What's your opinion of politics at present, sir?" observed his friend
in an off-hand way.

"I haven't any," said Lavender, compelled to take back one of the
newspapers and open it.

"I th