e no wish to inflict humiliation on any one," said Ingram stiffly.
"I don't wish to play the part of a little Providence and mete out
punishment in that way. I might have to begin with myself."

"Now, don't be foolish," said the old lady with a menacing composure.
"I give you fair warning: the next fit will do for me. If you don't
care to take my money, and keep it in trust for this girl you profess to
care so much about, I will leave it to found an institution. And I have
a good idea for an institution, mind you. I mean to teach people what
they should eat and drink, and the various effects of food on various
constitutions."

"It is an important subject," Ingram admitted.

"Is it not? What is the use of giving people laborious information about
the idle fancies of generations that lived ages before they were born,
while you are letting them poison their system, and lay up for
themselves a fearfully painful old age, by the continuous use of
unsuitable food? That book you gave me, Mr. Ingram, is a wonderful book,
but it gives you little consolation if you know another fit is coming
on. And what is the good of knowing about Epictetus and Zeno and the
rest if you've got rheumatism? Now, I mean to have classes to teach
people what they should eat and drink; and I'll do it if you won't
assume the guardianship of my nephew's wife."

"But this is the wildest notion I ever heard of," Ingram protested
again. "How can I take charge of her? If Sheila herself had shown any
disposition to place herself under your care, it might have been
different."

"Oh, it would have been different!" cried the old lady with a shrill
laugh. "It would have been different! And what did you say about her
sense of duty to her husband's relatives? Did you say anything about
that?"

"Well--" Ingram was about to say, being lost in amazement at the odd
glee of this withered old creature.

"Where do you think a young wife should go if she runs off from her
husband's house?" cried Mrs. Lavender, apparently much amused by his
perplexity. "Where can she best escape calumny? Poor man! I won't
frighten you or disturb you any longer. Ring the bell, will you? I want
Paterson."

Ingram rang.

"Paterson," said Mrs. Lavender when the tall and grave woman appeared,
"ask Mrs. Lavender if she can come here for a few minutes."

Ingram looked at the old woman to see if she had gone mad, and then,
somehow, he instinctively turned to the door. He fancied he kne