wild roses that grows on every street;
And he mightn't like the winter, or he mightn't like the heat.

"So I guess it's best for Omar for to stay right where he is,
And gallivant with Tottie, or with Flossie, or with Liz;
And fill himself with claret, and, although it ain't like beer,
I wish he'd send a bottle--just one bottle--to us here."

THE HAPPY LAND[5]

BY FRANK ROE BATCHELDER

In the Land of Steady Incomes,
Where they get their ten per cent.,
There is never need to worry
As to how to pay the rent;
There they never dodge the grocer,
And in winter never freeze,
In the Land of Steady Incomes,
Where the dollars grow on trees.

In the Land of Steady Incomes,
Where the cash is ready-made,
No one ever thinks of going
To the almoner for aid,
For the coal-bin's never empty,
And the Gray Wolf dare not lurk
In the Land of Steady Incomes,
Where the check-books do the work.

In the Land of Steady Incomes,
Where the watches all have fobs,
You will see no haggard fathers
Pleading, in despair, for jobs;
You will hear no hungry children
Crying, while their mothers pray,
In the Land of Steady Incomes,
Where there's dinner every day.

In the Land of Steady Incomes,
It is easy to forget
All about that far-off country
Where are hunger, cold, and debt;
And the woes of other people
It is easy to dismiss
In the Land of Steady Incomes,
Where inheritance is bliss.

[Footnote 5: Lippincott's Magazine.]

ASSAULT AND BATTERY

BY JOSEPH G. BALDWIN

A trial came off, not precisely in our bailiwick, but in the
neighborhood, of great comic interest. It was really a case of a good
deal of aggravation, and the defendants, fearing the result, employed
four of the ablest lawyers practicing at the M. bar to defend them. The
offense charged was only assault and battery; but the evidence showed a
conspiracy to inflict great violence on the person of the prosecutor,
who had done nothing to provoke it, and that the attempt to effect it
was followed by severe injury to him. The prosecutor was an original. He
had been an old-field school-master, and was as conceited and pedantic a
fellow as could be found in a summer's day, even in that profession. It
was thought the policy of the defense to make as light of the case as
possible, and t