ed by Madame de
Fischtaminel to a concert which she is giving next Tuesday. I reckoned
on going there, as I wanted to speak with a young cousin of the
minister who was among the singers; but he is gone to Frouville to see
his aunt. What do you propose doing?

HIS WIFE.--These concerts tire me to death!--You have to sit nailed to
your chair whole hours without saying a word.--Besides, you know quite
well that we dine with my mother on that day, and it is impossible to
miss paying her a visit.

HER HUSBAND. (carelessly)--Ah! that is true.

_(Three days afterwards.)_

THE HUSBAND. (as he goes to bed)--What do you think, my darling?
To-morrow I will leave you at your mother's, for the count has
returned from Frouville and will be at Madame de Fischtaminel's
concert.

HIS WIFE. (vivaciously)--But why should you go alone? You know how I
adore music!

_The Touch and Go Mouse-Trap._

THE WIFE.--Why did you go away so early this evening?

THE HUSBAND. (mysteriously)--Ah! It is a sad business, and all the
more so because I don't know how I can settle it.

THE WIFE.--What is it all about, Adolph? You are a wretch if you do
not tell me what you are going to do!

THE HUSBAND.--My dear, that ass of a Prosper Magnan is fighting a duel
with M. de Fontanges, on account of an Opera singer.--But what is the
matter with you?

THE WIFE.--Nothing.--It is very warm in this room and I don't know
what ails me, for the whole day I have been suffering from sudden
flushing of the face.

THE HUSBAND. (aside)--She is in love with M. de Fontanges. (Aloud.)
Celestine! (He shouts out still louder.) Celestine! Come quick, madame
is ill!

You will understand that a clever husband will discover a thousand
ways of setting these three kinds of traps.

2. OF CORRESPONDENCE.

To write a letter, and to have it posted; to get an answer, to read it
and burn it; there we have correspondence stated in the simplest
terms.

Yet consider what immense resources are given by civilization, by our
manners and by our love to the women who wish to conceal these
material actions from the scrutiny of a husband.

The inexorable box which keeps its mouth open to all comers receives
its epistolary provender from all hands.

There is also the fatal invention of the General Delivery. A lover
finds in the world a hundred charitable persons, male and female, who,
for a slight consideration, will slip the bill