was easy to evoke these feelings. The
one thing absent from the whole place was any touch of sentimentality,
which arises from natural affections suppressed into a giggling kind of
secrecy. They expressed affection loudly and frankly, just as they
expressed indignation and annoyance. All the while I kept Cynthia in my
heart; she was ever before me in a thousand sweet postures and with
innumerable glances. But I saw much of my sturdy and wholesome-minded
old friend; and the sore pain of parting faded away out of my heart, and
left me with nothing but the purest and deepest love, which helped me in
all I did or said, and made me patient and tender-hearted. And thus the
period sped not unhappily away, though I had my times of agony and
despair.

XXXII

I became aware at this time, very gradually and even solemnly, that some
crisis of my life was approaching. How the monition came to me I hardly
know; I felt like a man wandering in the dark, with eyes strained and
hands outstretched, who is dimly aware of some great object, tree or
haystack or house, looming up ahead of him, which he cannot directly
see, but of which he is yet conscious by the vibration of some sixth
sense. The wonder came by degrees to overshadow my thoughts with a sense
of expectant awe, and to permeate all the urgent concerns of my life
with its shadowy presence. Even the thought of Cynthia, who indeed was
always in my mind, became obscured with the dimness of this obscure
anticipation.

One day Amroth stood beside me as I worked; he was very grave and
serious, but with a joyful kind of courage about him. I pushed my books
and papers away, and rose to greet him, saying half-unconsciously, and
just putting my thought into words:

"So it has come!"

"Yes," said Amroth, "it has come! I have known it for some little time,
and my thought has mingled with yours. I tell you frankly that I did
not quite expect it; but one never knows here. You must come with me at
once. You are to see the last mystery; and though I am glad for your
sake that it is come, yet I tremble for you, because it is unlike any
other experience; and one can never be the same again."

I felt myself oppressed by a sudden terror of darkness, but, half to
reassure myself, I answered lightly:

"But it does not seem to have affected you, Amroth! You are always
light-hearted and cheerful, and not overshadowed by any dark or gloomy
thoughts."

"Yes, yes," said Amroth hurriedly.