FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   148   149   150   151   152   153   154   155   156   157   158   >>  
And even so, in those last sweet hours, I could not help marvelling at how utterly different Cynthia's heart and mind were from my own; even then it was a constant shock of surprise that we should understand each other so perfectly, and yet feel so differently about so much. It seemed to me that, even after all I had seen and suffered, my heart was still bent on taking and Cynthia's on giving. I seemed to see my own heart through Cynthia's, while she appeared to see mine but through her own. We spoke of our experiences, and of our many friends, now hidden from us--and at last we spoke of Lucius. And then Cynthia said: "It is strange, dearest, that now and then there should yet remain any doubt at all in my mind about your wish or desire; but I must speak; and before I speak, I will say that whatever you desire, I will do. But I think that Lucius has need of me, and I am his, in a way which I cannot describe. He is halting now in his way, and he is unhappy because his life is incomplete. May I help him?" At this there struck through me a sharp and jealous pang; and a dark cloud seemed to float across my mind for a moment. But I set all aside, and thought for an instant of the vision of God. And then I said: "Yes, Cynthia! I had wondered too; and it seems perhaps like the last taint of earth, that I would, as it were, condemn you to a sort of widowhood of love when I am gone. But you must follow your own heart, and its pure and sweet advice, and the Will of Love; and you must use your treasure, not hoard it for me in solitude. Dearest, I trust you and worship you utterly and entirely. It is through you and your love that I have found my way to the heart of God; and if indeed you can take another heart thither, you must do it for love's own sake." And after this we were silent for a long space, heart blending wholly with heart. Then suddenly I became aware that some one was coming up through the wood, to the rocks where we sat: and Cynthia clung close to me, and I knew that she was sorrowful to death. And then I saw Lucius come up out of the wood, and halt for a moment at the sight of us together. Then he came on almost reverently, and I saw that he carried in his hand a sealed paper like that which had been given to Amroth; and I read it and found my summons written. Then while Lucius stood beside me, with his eyes upon the ground, I said: "I must go in haste; and I have but one thing to do. We have spoken, C
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   148   149   150   151   152   153   154   155   156   157   158   >>  



Top keywords:

Cynthia

 

Lucius

 

desire

 

utterly

 

moment

 

wholly

 

solitude

 

blending

 

worship

 

advice


Dearest

 

suddenly

 

thither

 

silent

 

treasure

 

follow

 

Amroth

 

summons

 
written
 

sealed


spoken

 
ground
 

carried

 

reverently

 

coming

 

sorrowful

 

widowhood

 

experiences

 

friends

 
taking

giving
 

appeared

 

hidden

 

strange

 
dearest
 
remain
 
constant
 

marvelling

 
surprise
 

understand


suffered

 

differently

 

perfectly

 

instant

 

vision

 

thought

 

wondered

 

condemn

 

halting

 

unhappy