ooth bit of
straight road,
And if anyone gets better barney and spree out of wheeling, I'm
blowed.

Larks fust and larks larst is _my_ motter. Old RICHARDSON's rumbo
is rot.
Preachy-preachy on 'ealth and fresh hair may be nuts to a sanit'ry
pot;
But it isn't mere hexercise, CHARLIE, nor yet pooty scenery, and
that,
As'll put 'ARRY's legs on the pelt. No, yours truly is not sech a
flat.

Picktereskness be jolly well jiggered, and as for good 'ealth,
I've no doubt
That the treadmill is jolly salubrious, wich that is mere turning
about,
Upon planks 'stead o' pedals, my pippin. No, wheeling _as_
wheeling's 'ard work,
And that, without larks, is a speeches of game as I always did
shirk.

_I_ ain't one o' them skinny shanked saps, with a chest 'ollered
out, and a 'ump,
Wot do records on roads for the 'onour, and faint or go slap off
their chump.
You don't ketch _me_ straining my 'eart till it cracks for a big
silver mug.
No; 'ARRY takes heverythink heasy, and likes to feel cosy and snug.

Wy, I knowed a long lathy-limbed josser as felt up to champion form.
And busted hisself to beat records, and took all the Wheel-World
by storm,
Went off like candle-snuff, CHARLIE, while stoopin' to lace up 'is
boot.
Let them go for _that_ game as are mind to, here's one as it
certn'y won't soot.

But there's fun in it, CHARLIE, worked proper, you'd 'ardly
emagine 'ow much,
If you ain't done a rush six a-breast, and skyfoozled some
dawdling old Dutch.
Women don't like us Wheelers a mossel, espech'lly the doddering
old sort
As go skeery at row and rumtowzle; but, scrunch it! that makes
a'rf the sport!

'Twas a bit of a bother to learn, and I wobbled tremenjus at fust,
Ah! it give me what-for in my jints, and no end of a thundering
thust;
I felt jest like a snake with skyattica doubling about on the loose,
As 'elpless as 'ot calf's-foot jelly, old man, and about as much
use.

Now I _don't_ like to look like a juggins, it's wot I carn't
stand, s'elp my bob;
But you know I ain't heasy choked off, dear old pal, when I'm fair
on the job.
So I spotted a quiet back naybrood, triangle of grass and tall
trees,
Good roads, and