is, Walk in, and you'll find out.
It is to be play-time for Master JEAN GERARDY, "Master G.," who
is going to perform on an Erard piano, when, as his REDDIE-witted
companion playfully observes, "The youthful pianist will out-Erard
ERARD."

* * * * *

"CALL YOU THIS BACKING YOUR FRIENDS?"

(BY A CONFUSED CONSERVATIVE.)

To stave off Change, and check the loud Rad Rough rage,
Conservatism is as shield and fetter meant;
And now brave BALFOUR votes for Female Suffrage;
And RITCHIE tells us he approves of "Betterment"!
O valiant WESTMINSTER, O warlike WEMYSS,
Is _this_ to be the end of all our dreams?

* * * * *

LA JUSTICE POUR RIRE; OR, WHAT IT HAS NEARLY COME TO.

SCENE--Interior of a Foreign Law Court. Numerous officials in
attendance performing their various duties in an apprehensive
sort of way. Audience small but determined.

_Judge_ (_nervously_). Now are we really protected from disturbance?

_General in Command of Troops._ I think so. The Court House is
surrounded by an Army Corps, and the Engineers find that the place has
not been undermined to at least a distance of a thousand feet.

_Judge_ (_somewhat reassured_). Well, now I think we may proceed with
the trial. Admit the accused.

[_The Prisoner is bowed into the dock, and accommodated with
a comfortably cushioned arm-chair._

_Prisoner._ Good morning. (_To Judge._) You can resume your hat.

_Judge_ (_bowing to the Prisoner_). Accused, I am deeply honoured
by your courtesy. I trust you have been comfortable in the State
apartments that have been recently supplied to you.

_Prisoner_ (_firmly_). State apartment! Why it was a prison! You know
it, _M. le Juge_, and you, Gentlemen of the Jury and Witnesses.
(_The entire audience shudder apprehensively._) And, what is more, my
friends outside know it! They know that I was arrested and thrown into
prison. Yes, they know that, and will act accordingly.

_Judge_ (_tearfully_). I am sure none of us wished to offend you!

_Members of the Bar_ (_in a breath_). Certainly not!

_Prisoner._ Well, let the trial proceed. I suppose you don't want
any evidence. You have heard what I have said. You know that I regret
having caused inconvenience to my innocent victims. They would forgive
me for my innocent intentions. I only wished to save everybody by
blowing everybody up.

_The Court generally._ Yes, yes!