'im wot for!!!

Nasty sperrit, old man; nothink sportsmanlike, surely, about sech
a hact!
Them's the sort as complains of hus Cyclists, mere crackpots as
ain't got no tact.
We all did a guy like greased lightning; you _can_ when you're
once on your wheel--
Stout bobbies carn't run down a "Safety," and gurls can do nothink
but squeal.

That's where Wheelin' gives yer the pull! Still it's beastly to
think a fine sport
And a smart lot of hathleets like hus must be kiboshed by mugs of
that sort.
All boko! dear boy, those _Times_ letters! I mean the new barney
to carry,
As long as the Slops and the Beaks keep their meddlesome mawleys orf

'ARRY.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE FORCE OF EXAMPLE.

Lady Clara Robinson (nee Vere de Vere). "THANKS! HOW IS IT OMNIBUS
MEN ARE SO MUCH CIVILLER THAN I'M TOLD THEY USED TO BE?"

Conductor. "YOU SEE, LADY, THERE'S SO MANY DECAYED ARISTOCRACY
TRAVELS BY US NOWADAYS, THAT WE PICKS UP THEIR MANNERS!"]

* * * * *

SONNET ON THE SOUTH-EASTERN.

(AFTER A CELEBRATED MODEL.)

COMPOSED AT LONDON BRIDGE TERMINUS, APRIL 18, 1892.

["One can do nothing with Railways. You cannot write
sonnets on the South-Eastern."--Mr. Barry Pain, "In the
Smoking-Room."]

Earth has not anything to show less fair:
Patient were he of soul who could pass by
A twenty minutes' wait amidst the cry
Of churlish clowns who worn cord jackets wear,
Without one single, solitary swear.
The low, unmeaning grunt, the needless lie,
The prompt "next platform" (which is all my eye),
The choky waiting-room, the smoky air;
Refreshment-bars where nothing nice they keep,
Whose sandwich chokes, whose whiskey makes one ill;
The seatless platforms! Ne'er was gloom so deep!
The truck toe-crusheth at its own sweet will.
Great Scott! are pluck and common-sense asleep,
That the long humbugged Public stands it still?

* * * * *

REDDIE-TURUS SALUTAT.--A good combination of names is to be found in
an announcement of a forthcoming Concert at Prince's Hall, Piccadilly,
on the evening of May 11, to be given by Mr. CHARLES REDDIE and Mr.
A. TAYLOR. Briefly, it might be announced as "A. TAYLOR's REDDIE-made
Concert." If REDDIE-money only taken at door, will A. TATYOR give
credit? _Solvitur ambulando_--that