afterwards if she had any fear of
dying, her answer was, "Oh no, not a shadow." "Then was it delightful to
think you were going home, dear Fan?" "No, it was not the idea of going
home, but that _He_ was coming for me and that I should _see my King_.
I never thought of death as going through the dark valley, or down to
the river; it often seemed to me a going up to the golden gates and
lying there in the brightness, just waiting for the gate to open for
me.... I never before was, so to speak, face to face with death. It was
like a look into heaven, and yet when my Father sent me back again, I
felt it was His will, and so I could not be disappointed."

In January, 1875, she was removed to Winterdyne, where she heard of the
sudden death of her brother Henry. After a few days a relapse set in,
and her stepmother was sent for. After the fever had passed away she
suffered very severe pain. She remarked to her sister once, "Oh, Marie,
if I might but have five minutes' ease from pain! I don't want ever to
moan when gentle sister Ellen comes in. How I am troubling you all!"

Health gradually returned to her, and with it she recommenced her active
work for the Master.

V.

COMING FORTH AS GOLD.

The Refiner's work in F.R. Havergal was very evident. Of this year's
illness and slow convalesence she speaks: "It has been the most precious
year of my life to me. It is worth any suffering to prove for oneself
the truth of 'when thou passest through the waters I will be with thee,'
and worth being turned back (as it seemed) from the very golden gates if
one may but 'tell of all His faithfulness.' It is so real."

"For two or three weeks [during my illness]," she writes again, "I was
too prostrate for any consecutive prayer, or for even a text to be given
me; and this was the time for realising what 'silent in love' meant
(Zeph. iii. 17). And then it seemed doubly sweet when I was again able
to 'hold converse' with Him. He seemed too so often to send answers from
His own word with wonderful power. One evening (after a relapse) I
longed so much to be able to pray, but found I was too weak for the
least effort of thought, and I only looked up and said, 'Lord Jesus, I
am _so_ tired!' and then He brought to my mind 'rest in the Lord' with
its lovely marginal reading, 'be silent_ in the Lord;' and so I just was
silent to Him, and He seemed to overflow me with perfect peace, in the
sense of His own perfect love."

When she was a