to do with any of these things;
and that they have a right to kill him at once if they be so minded,
though he entreats them to show their marvellous goodness and clemency by
sparing his life. If they will do this, he promises to be their most
obedient and abject creature during his earlier years, and indeed all his
life, unless they should see fit in their abundant generosity to remit
some portion of his service hereafter. And so the formula continues,
going sometimes into very minute details, according to the fancies of
family lawyers, who will not make it any shorter than they can help.

The deed being thus prepared, on the third or fourth day after the birth
of the child, or as they call it, the "final importunity," the friends
gather together, and there is a feast held, where they are all very
melancholy--as a general rule, I believe, quite truly so--and make
presents to the father and mother of the child in order to console them
for the injury which has just been done them by the unborn.

By-and-by the child himself is brought down by his nurse, and the company
begin to rail upon him, upbraiding him for his impertinence, and asking
him what amends he proposes to make for the wrong that he has committed,
and how he can look for care and nourishment from those who have perhaps
already been injured by the unborn on some ten or twelve occasions; for
they say of people with large families, that they have suffered terrible
injuries from the unborn; till at last, when this has been carried far
enough, some one suggests the formula, which is brought out and solemnly
read to the child by the family straightener. This gentleman is always
invited on these occasions, for the very fact of intrusion into a
peaceful family shows a depravity on the part of the child which requires
his professional services.

On being teased by the reading and tweaked by the nurse, the child will
commonly begin to cry, which is reckoned a good sign, as showing a
consciousness of guilt. He is thereon asked, Does he assent to the
formula? on which, as he still continues crying and can obviously make no
answer, some one of the friends comes forward and undertakes to sign the
document on his behalf, feeling sure (so he says) that the child would do
it if he only knew how, and that he will release the present signer from
his engagement on arriving at maturity. The friend then inscribes the
signature of the child at the foot of the parchment, whic