The final arbiter in international disputes. Formerly
these disputes were settled by physical contact of the disputants,
with such simple arguments as the rudimentary logic of the times could
supply--the sword, the spear, and so forth. With the growth of
prudence in military affairs the projectile came more and more into
favor, and is now held in high esteem by the most courageous. Its
capital defect is that it requires personal attendance at the point of
propulsion.

PROOF, n. Evidence having a shade more of plausibility than of
unlikelihood. The testimony of two credible witnesses as opposed to
that of only one.

PROOF-READER, n. A malefactor who atones for making your writing
nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible.

PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may
be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the
passion for possession in one and disappoints it in all others. The
object of man's brief rapacity and long indifference.

PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for
future delivery.

PROSPECT, n. An outlook, usually forbidding. An expectation, usually
forbidden.

Blow, blow, ye spicy breezes--
O'er Ceylon blow your breath,
Where every prospect pleases,
Save only that of death.

Bishop Sheber

PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the
person so describing it.

PRUDE, n. A bawd hiding behind the back of her demeanor.

PUBLISH, n. In literary affairs, to become the fundamental element in
a cone of critics.

PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success,
especially in politics. The other is Pull.

PYRRHONISM, n. An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It
consisted of an absolute disbelief in everything but Pyrrhonism. Its
modern professors have added that.

Q

QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king,
and through whom it is ruled when there is not.

QUILL, n. An implement of torture yielded by a goose and commonly
wielded by an ass. This use of the quill is now obsolete, but its
modern equivalent, the steel pen, is wielded by the same everlasting
Presence.

QUIVER, n. A portable sheath in which the ancient statesman and the
aboriginal lawyer carried their lighter arguments.

He extracted from his quiver,
Did the controversial Roman,
An argument well fitted
To the ques