h existing
missionary operations at home was foreseen; but it was concluded that,
by simple trust in GOD, suitable agency might be raised up and sustained
without interfering injuriously with any existing work. I had also a
growing conviction that GOD would have _me_ to seek from Him the needed
workers, and to go forth with them. But for a long time unbelief
hindered my taking the first step.

How inconsistent unbelief always is! I had no doubt that, if I prayed
for workers, "_in_ the Name" of the LORD JESUS CHRIST, they would be
given me. I had no doubt that, in answer to such prayer, the means for
our going forth would be provided, and that doors would be opened before
us in unreached parts of the Empire. But I had not then learned to trust
GOD for _keeping_ power and grace for myself, so no wonder that I could
not trust Him to keep others who might be prepared to go with me. I
feared that in the midst of the dangers, difficulties, and trials which
would necessarily be connected with such a work, some who were
comparatively inexperienced Christians might break down, and bitterly
reproach me for having encouraged them to undertake an enterprise for
which they were unequal.

Yet, what was I to do? The feeling of blood-guiltiness became more and
more intense. Simply because I refused to ask for them, the labourers
did not come forward--did not go out to China--and every day tens of
thousands were passing away to Christless graves! Perishing China so
filled my heart and mind that there was no rest by day, and little sleep
by night, till health broke down. At the invitation of my beloved and
honoured friend, Mr. George Pearse (then of the Stock Exchange), I went
to spend a few days with him in Brighton.

On Sunday, June 25th, 1865, unable to bear the sight of a congregation
of a thousand or more Christian people rejoicing in their own security,
while millions were perishing for lack of knowledge, I wandered out on
the sands alone, in great spiritual agony; and there the LORD conquered
my unbelief, and I surrendered myself to GOD for this service. I told
Him that all the responsibility as to issues and consequences must rest
with Him; that as His servant, it was mine to obey and to follow
Him--His, to direct, to care for, and to guide me and those who might
labour with me. Need I say that peace at once flowed into my burdened
heart? There and then I asked Him for twenty-four fellow-workers, two
for each of eleven inland