ing the tears
from his eyes, Mr. Deputy Recorder went on to perorate; 'I ask,' said
he, 'whether such a Kentucky marauder ought not to be outlawed by all
nations, and put to the ban of civilised Europe? If not'--and then Mr.
Deputy paused for effect, and struck the table with his fist--'if not,
and such principles of Jacobinism and French philosophy are to be
tolerated; then, I say, there is an end to social order and religion:
Sansculotterie, Septemberising, and red night-caps, will flourish over
once happy Europe; and the last and best of kings, and our most shining
lights, will follow into the same bottomless abyss, which has already
swallowed up (and his voice faltered)--my liver.'

'Lights and liver!' said Mr. Schnackenberger; 'I suppose you mean liver
and lights; but, lord! Mr. Recorder, what a bilious view you take of the
case! Your liver weighs too much in this matter; and where that happens,
a man's judgment is sure to be jaundiced.'

However, the council thought otherwise: Mr. Deputy's speech had produced
a deep impression; and, upon his motion, they adjudged that, in twelve
hours, Juno should be conducted to the frontiers of the city lands, and
there solemnly outlawed: after which it should be free to all citizens
of B---- to pursue her with fire and sword; and even before that period,
if she were met without a responsible guide. Mr. Schnackenberger pleaded
earnestly for an extension of the armistice; but then arose, for the
second time, with Catonic severity of aspect, Mr. Deputy Recorder; he
urged so powerfully the necessity of uncompromising principle in these
dangerous times, insisted so cogently on the false humanity of misplaced
lenity, and wound up the whole by such a pathetic array of the crimes
committed by Juno--of the sausages she had robbed, the rabbits she had
strangled, the porcelain she had fractured, the raspberry-vinegar she
had spilt, the mutton she had devoted to chops ('her own "chops,"
remember,' said Mr. Schnackenberger), the Brussels' veil, and the
Mechlin lace, which she had swallowed, the domestic harmony which she
had disturbed, the laws of the land which she had insulted and outraged,
the peace of mind which she had invaded, and, finally, (said he) 'as if
all this were not enough, the liver--the goose's liver--_my_ liver--my
unoffending liver'--('and lights,' said Mr. Schnackenberger) 'which she
has burglariously and inhumanly immolated to her brutal propensities:'
on all this Mr.