FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   166   167   168   169   170   171   172   173   174   175   176   177   178   179   180   181   182   183   184   185   186   187   188   189   190  
191   192   193   194   195   196   197   198   199   200   201   202   203   204   205   206   207   208   209   210   211   212   213   214   215   >>   >|  
wanted to tell her of his heart-hunger, of his loneliness, his gratitude, understanding, reverence, and, above all, of his love. There was so much that it made him silent. 'Good-bye, Elise,' he said. 'Good-bye,' she answered. That was the end. Of such paltry substance are words. 'By Gar!' said the French-Canadian, looking after her as she disappeared down the ward, 'she mak me tink of my leetle girl Marie; only Marie, mebbe, is only so high, _comme ca_, and got de black hair, so! I am homeseek. Yes. It mak me verra homeseek. _Godam_!' V. She did not come again. Every morning his heart quickened with hope, and each afternoon grew heavy with discouragement as the hours passed by without the step he listened for. The arrival of the mail was an instant of mad expectancy and mute resignation. But every day carried its cargo of renewed hope, and he grudged the very hours of sleep that separated him from it. He wrote to her three times--pleaded with her to come again. He begged forgiveness for omitted or committed things which might have hurt her, but no reply came. He thought of writing to Roselawn, fancying she might have gone there, but he was certain that before the letter could reach her she would have come again, and they would only laugh at the idea of any misunderstanding. He blamed himself for a hundred imaginary crimes. He had not asked her if she would return. Perhaps he had carelessly uttered words that wounded her. He knew her pride; knew that after their parting at the flat it must have been hard for her to make the first move towards reconciliation--and she might have mistaken his joy for petty personal triumph. Or--had he been an utter fool? Was this her punishment of him? With the consummate artistry of her sex, had she simulated sympathy and forbearance to make his torture all the more exquisite? He dismissed the suggestion as something vile, but, feeding on his doubts and longings, it grew stronger and more insistent with every hour's passing. A hundred times a day he closed his eyes and lived the sweet memory of her visit; but with the gathering arraignments of his doubts, he wondered if it had all been the studied act of the English girl's reprisal on the American who had dared to challenge her nation. Weary, weary hours--the inactivity of the body lending fuel to the flames of his mind. He determined to dismiss her from his thoughts, and with his power of menta
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   166   167   168   169   170   171   172   173   174   175   176   177   178   179   180   181   182   183   184   185   186   187   188   189   190  
191   192   193   194   195   196   197   198   199   200   201   202   203   204   205   206   207   208   209   210   211   212   213   214   215   >>   >|  



Top keywords:

homeseek

 

doubts

 
hundred
 

reconciliation

 
mistaken
 

triumph

 
personal
 

uttered

 
misunderstanding
 

blamed


imaginary

 
crimes
 

parting

 
wounded
 
return
 

Perhaps

 

carelessly

 

dismissed

 

American

 

reprisal


challenge
 

English

 
gathering
 
arraignments
 

wondered

 
studied
 

nation

 

dismiss

 

determined

 
thoughts

flames
 

inactivity

 
lending
 

memory

 

forbearance

 
sympathy
 

torture

 

exquisite

 

letter

 

simulated


punishment

 

consummate

 

artistry

 

suggestion

 

passing

 
closed
 

insistent

 

feeding

 

longings

 
stronger