critical condition.

***

Sand-gleaners at Ramsgate are making money from bags of sugar washed
ashore. This answers the oft-propounded question, "How do grocers
spend their week-ends?"

***

Another hold-up by American soldiers has occurred in Liverpool. In
view of the magnitude of our debt to the United States it is felt
that this method of collecting it in instalments is bound to prove
unsatisfactory.

***

"Humour and love," says a contemporary, "are what will pay the average
writer best at the moment." It is not known whether Labour or the
Peace Conference has done most to send up the price of these luxuries.

***

Officials of the Waiters' Union are perturbed over the rumour that
restaurant _habitues_ are preparing to strike in favour of a fifty per
cent. reduction in tips.

***

Several of our leading magistrates declare that unless some High
Court judge asks, "What is beer?" they will be compelled to do it
themselves.

***

A St. Bernard dog belonging to a New York hotel-keeper perished after
swallowing a bundle of dollar notes. It is said that the deceased died
worth sixty-five pounds.

***

One explanation for the many daylight robberies committed recently in
London is that several of our better-class burglars object to breaking
into people's houses like thieves in the night.

***

Because a Highgate lodger refused to pay his rent, the landlady wrote
asking his wife to come and fetch him away. If he is not claimed in
three days he will be sold to defray expenses.

***

Only a person with a perfectly healthy skin, says a contemporary, can
afford to face the keen winds without taking precaution. If you have
any doubts about your skin the best thing is to leave it at home on
the hat-rack.

***

At a football match at South Hindley last week the referee was struck
in the mouth and severely injured by one of the backs, after ordering
three other players off the field for fighting. This, we understand,
was one of the first fixtures to be brought off under the auspices of
the Brighter Football League.

***

The L.C.C. are said to be formulating a plan to meet the rush for
trains on the Underground. Personally we always try to avoid it.

***

A medical journal refers to a new method of raising blisters by
hypnotic suggestion. This is said to be an improvement on the old East
End system of developin